1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 386 of 830
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7701
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 30, 2020
    Taffvalerowdy and San Diego like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    My blonde wife and I got into an argument because I accused her of being stupid.

    Eventually she jumped up out of her seat and yelled, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't walk out of that door!"

    I replied, "The plane hasn't landed yet."
     
    #7702
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 30, 2020
    Taffvalerowdy and San Diego like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    I love my job as an anaesthetist. Just as my patient is about to go under, I love to call them by the wrong name and tell them not to worry your vasectomy will be over shortly!
     
    #7703
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 30, 2020
    Taffvalerowdy and San Diego like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7704
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 30, 2020
    Taffvalerowdy and San Diego like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7705
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 30, 2020
    San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7706
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 30, 2020
    San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.

  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7707
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 30, 2020
    San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7708
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 30, 2020
    San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7709
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 30, 2020
    San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7710
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 30, 2020
    San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  11. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,465
    Likes Received:
    257,072
    upload_2020-1-31_11-20-11.jpeg
     
    #7711
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 31, 2020
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  12. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,465
    Likes Received:
    257,072
    Decided to do dry January.

    Wish me luck ......
     
    #7712
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 31, 2020
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck and Wherever like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7713
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 1, 2020
    San Diego likes this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7714
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 1, 2020
    San Diego likes this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7715
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 1, 2020
    San Diego likes this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7716
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 1, 2020
    San Diego likes this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7717
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 1, 2020
    San Diego likes this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7718
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 1, 2020
    San Diego likes this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7719
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 1, 2020
    San Diego likes this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,487
    Likes Received:
    294,528
    A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.

    So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there.' .and indicated the sender
    with a nod of his head. She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note.

    The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

    The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants '

    After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.

    It read: 'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have a beautiful homes in Aspen , Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you are, would I cut off three inches. Just send the bottle back.
     
    #7720
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 1, 2020
    San Diego likes this.
Page 386 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

Share This Page