1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 375 of 830
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    I'm reading a horror book in Braille.

    Something terrible is about to happen.

    I can feel it.......
     
    #7481
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 1, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    please log in to view this image
    OLD LANG SIGN
     
    #7482
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 1, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  3. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,428
    Likes Received:
    256,936
    upload_2020-1-2_10-14-24.jpeg
     
    #7483
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 2, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7484
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 2, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7485
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 2, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7486
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 2, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    As the Queen was writing out the New Years Honours, she said to Philip, “Are we going to honour Lulu this year?”

    He said, “I’m not flying to Hawaii in my condition!”
     
    #7487
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 2, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7488
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 2, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary and he's wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed, pointing out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
    The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank check and says, “I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.”
    The woman returns the next day and to her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.
    She says to the mortician, “Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?”
    To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check, “There's no charge.”
    “No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit,” she says.
    “Honestly, ma’am it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. So I just switched the heads.”
     
    #7489
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 2, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    I've combined my skills of bomb-making and taxidermy..

    I'm going to make you an otter you can't defuse.
     
    #7490
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 2, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.

  11. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,428
    Likes Received:
    256,936
    upload_2020-1-3_17-47-30.jpeg
     
    #7491
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 3, 2020
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    "The Scots invented hypnosis, chloroform and the hypodermic syringe.

    Wouldn't it just be easier to talk to a woman?"
     
    #7492
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 3, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7493
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 3, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7494
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 3, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7495
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 3, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7496
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 3, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7497
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 4, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7498
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 4, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7499
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 4, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,444
    Likes Received:
    294,439
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7500
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 4, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
Page 375 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

Share This Page