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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7181
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2019
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  2. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2019-11-25_23-6-56.jpeg
     
    #7182
    Taffvalerowdy, Nov 25, 2019
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7183
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2019
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7184
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2019
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7185
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2019
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7186
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2019
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  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Bram Stoker's Dracula,
    Mary Shelley's Frankenstein,
    Jo Swinson's Liberal Democrats.
     
    #7187
    kiwiqpr, Nov 26, 2019
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  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #7188
    kiwiqpr, Nov 26, 2019
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  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #7189
    kiwiqpr, Nov 26, 2019
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I entered the young musician of the year today

    She didn't half scream.....
     
    #7190
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 26, 2019
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Pythagoras" theorem: 24 words.
    The Lord"s prayer: 66 words.
    Archimedes" Principle: 67 words.
    The 10 Commandments: 179 words.
    The Gettysburg address: 286 words.
    The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words.
    U.S. Government regulations on cabbage sales: 26,911 words.
     
    #7191
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 26, 2019
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  12. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2019-11-26_17-58-31.jpeg
     
    #7192
    Taffvalerowdy, Nov 26, 2019
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  13. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #7193
    Taffvalerowdy, Nov 26, 2019
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  14. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #7194
    Taffvalerowdy, Nov 27, 2019
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  15. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #7195
    Taffvalerowdy, Nov 27, 2019
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7196
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 27, 2019
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7197
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 27, 2019
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7198
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 27, 2019
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A young man wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend. They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived some distance away. He consulted with his sister and decided, after careful consideration, that a pair of good quality gloves would strike the right note... not too romantic and not too personal. Off he went with his sister to Marks and Spencer’s and they selected a dainty pair of fur lined quality leather gloves. His sister bought a pair of sexy knickers for herself at the same time. Marks and Spencer’s had a free gift wrap offer but the assistant mixed up the two items, the sister got the gloves and our man unknowingly got the knickers. So he sent off his gift wrapped present in a parcel with the following letter.
    Dear Maggie
    I chose these because I've noticed that you are not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones (which are easier to remove). These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and I hardly noticed any marks. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even though they were a little bit tight on her. She also said that they rub against her ring which helps keep it clean. In fact she hasn't needed to wash it since she began wearing them.
    I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again.
    When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because they will be naturally a little damp from wearing.
    Just imagine how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year.
    I hope you will wear them for me on our next date.
    All my love,
    P.

    P.S. My mum tells me that the latest style is to wear them folded down with a little bit of fur showing.
     
    #7199
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 27, 2019
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7200
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 28, 2019
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Page 360 of 748
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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