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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5361
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 11, 2019
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5362
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 11, 2019
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I was doing a crossword in the pub and said to my Scottish mate, “I'm stuck on one, trapped on a desert island, eight letters, starting with M.”

    He said, “Marooned.”

    I said, “Thanks, I'll have a pint of lager then!”
     
    #5363
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 11, 2019
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5364
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 11, 2019
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5365
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 11, 2019
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper, so I tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.

    I'm in A & E now, waiting to see a cardyologist.
     
    #5366
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 11, 2019
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Think about it.....

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    #5367
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 11, 2019
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5368
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 11, 2019
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5369
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 11, 2019
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  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5370
    kiwiqpr, Jan 14, 2019
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  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5371
    kiwiqpr, Jan 14, 2019
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  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I just heard that the machine that makes the Dutch wooden shoes is broken. It's all clogged up.
     
    #5372
    kiwiqpr, Jan 14, 2019
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  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5373
    kiwiqpr, Jan 14, 2019
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  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5374
    kiwiqpr, Jan 14, 2019
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    A man in Alberta, Canada, wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough there's an ad for "Alberta Bear Removers."
    He calls the number and the man says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
    The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old pit bull.
    "What are you going to do?" The homeowner asks.
    "I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and I’ll knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls
    off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."
    He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
    "What's the shotgun for?" Asks the homeowner.
    "If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the f*cking dog!"

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    #5375
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 14, 2019
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    The Labour party have brought out a new version of 'Laurel and Hardy', it's called 'Horrible and Lardy' !

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    #5376
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 14, 2019
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5377
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 14, 2019
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5378
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 14, 2019
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5379
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 14, 2019
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5380
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 15, 2019
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Page 269 of 835
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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