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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5221
    kiwiqpr, Dec 16, 2018
    Didley Squat, San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5222
    kiwiqpr, Dec 16, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5223
    kiwiqpr, Dec 16, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5224
    kiwiqpr, Dec 16, 2018
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5225
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 16, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, San Diego and 2 others like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5226
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 16, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, San Diego and 1 other person like this.

  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    BREAKING NEWS:

    Irish animal rights protesters broke into a Turkey farm outside Dublin last night, they escaped with 5,000 Turkeys.

    A spokesman for the gang said, "We will be releasing the birds back into the wild, just as soon as they have been defrosted."
     
    #5227
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 16, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, Gordon Armstrong and 2 others like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I was arrested yesterday for Shoplifting, The Officer said, "You are being charged with Stealing Two Bottles of Wine"...
    I said, "You can't Charge me for Stealing Two Bottles"...
    Officer, "Why not"...?
    I said, "It was buy one get one free"...
     
    #5228
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 16, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, Gordon Armstrong and 2 others like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5229
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 16, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, Gordon Armstrong and 2 others like this.
  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5230
    kiwiqpr, Dec 16, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Two old ladies were chatting one day. They were talking about this and that and the subject finally got around to sex. The first old lady said she enjoyed sex all the time, and just as much as ever. The second old lady was surprised and asked her what her secret was. The first old lady said when she hears her husband pulling the car into the garage she hurries and takes a shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. When her husband comes into the bedroom he gets turned on and has his way with her. The second old lady decides to try this approach so that night when she heard her husband coming home, she takes a quick shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. her husband comes into the bedroom takes one look and says, "For God's sake Maude, comb your hair and put your teeth in."
     
    #5231
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 16, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5232
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 17, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, kiwiqpr and 1 other person like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5233
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 17, 2018
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5234
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 17, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, Gordon Armstrong and 2 others like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5235
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 17, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, kiwiqpr and 1 other person like this.
  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5236
    kiwiqpr, Dec 18, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, San Diego and 2 others like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5237
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 18, 2018
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5238
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 18, 2018
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    The wife said she wants a Philips 42 inch for Christmas.

    Where the f*ck am I going to get a screwdriver that big?
     
    #5239
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 18, 2018
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Every Christmas I'd come running downstairs to the big pile of presents and start unwrapping them as fast as I could. Sometimes there would be fights over who had the best toys but we would all make up later and sit down to have a three hour lunch before watching TV for the rest of the day.

    I really miss working at the Royal Mail sorting office......
     
    #5240
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 18, 2018
    Didley Squat, Gordon Armstrong and San Diego like this.
Page 262 of 835
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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