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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 253 of 835
  1. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    I'm The Nude Banger!
     
    #5041
    Didley Squat, Nov 23, 2018
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Meanwhile over in Liverpool.......

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    #5042
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 23, 2018
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5043
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 23, 2018
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5044
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2018
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I went into a bar the other day and ordered 8 double whiskeys and downed them one after the other.

    "I shouldn't be drinking like this with what I've got" I said to the barman. "Why what is it" he asked?

    "83 pence" I replied.
     
    #5045
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2018
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5046
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2018
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    ** YOU NEED SOUND FOR THIS !! **
     
    #5047
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2018
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Despite previously saying he’d never use the NHS, a zoo animal has now been hospitalised.

    His condition is described as Hippo-critical.....
     
    #5048
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2018
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months.

    Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there.

    They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement.

    They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little 'Oral sex' will do the trick and bring her out of the coma.'

    The husband was sceptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy.

    The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room.

    After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat-lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room.

    "What happened!?" they cried.

    The husband said, 'I'm not sure, I think she choked.'
     
    #5049
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2018
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  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    socialist monopoly
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    #5050
    kiwiqpr, Nov 25, 2018
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  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #5051
    kiwiqpr, Nov 25, 2018
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5052
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2018
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Does anyone want my old copies of Chiropractor Monthly? - I've got a load of back issues.
     
    #5053
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2018
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Just got done reading "Training Budgerigars To Talk" by Hugh Zapretti-Boyden
     
    #5054
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2018
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5055
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2018
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Black Friday in Rochdale......

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    #5056
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2018
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I ordered some stuff online yesterday and I used my Donor Card instead of my Debit Card.

    Cost me an arm and a leg.
     
    #5057
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2018
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  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    well that escalated quickly
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    #5058
    kiwiqpr, Nov 25, 2018
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I had eczema, diarrhoea and haemorrhoids last weekend...

    My best game of Scrabble ever!
     
    #5059
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2018
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #5060
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2018
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Page 253 of 835
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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