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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4941
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 11, 2018
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    "What does your Dad do for a living little boy?"
    "He's a magician and he can even saw people in half!"
    "Fascinating. So tell me do you have any siblings?"
    "Yes. One half sister and two half brothers "
     
    #4942
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 11, 2018
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4943
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 11, 2018
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4944
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 11, 2018
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  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Estimated net worth:
    Tom Cruise: $550 million
    Su Pollard: $2 million
    Until male and female actors are paid equally we’ll never have true equality.
     
    #4945
    kiwiqpr, Nov 12, 2018
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  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    just how hungry would you need to be
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    #4946
    kiwiqpr, Nov 13, 2018
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  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Just been reading about a major Albanian crime gang that is terrorising London.
    Surely they can’t be too difficult to catch with all that white hair and red eyes......
     
    #4947
    kiwiqpr, Nov 13, 2018
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4948
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 14, 2018
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4949
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 14, 2018
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Winter is nearly here & our native birds will soon be finding food scarce. Please go to the pet shop & buy a bag of nuts for our feathered friends.

    There is no finer sight on a winter's morning than a pair of tits around your nut sack. Just remember however it's a bit early in the year to expect a swallow!
     
    #4950
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 14, 2018
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4951
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 15, 2018
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4952
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 15, 2018
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4953
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 15, 2018
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Went to the doctor for my annual check up.

    He asked me in describe my sex life.

    “Infrequent” I replied

    “Is that one word or two?” He asked....
     
    #4954
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 15, 2018
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4955
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 15, 2018
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • One hot July day we found an old straggly cat at our door.
    • She was a sorry sight.
    • Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny and hair all matted down.
    • We felt sorry for her and put her in a carrier and took her to the vet.
    • She had no name so we named her Pussycat.
    • The vet decided to keep her for a day or so and said he would let us know when we could come and get her.
    • My husband, [the complainer] said, "OK, but don"t forget to wash her, she stinks."
    • My husband and my vet don"t see eye to eye.
    • He calls my husband El-cheap-O. My husband calls him Take-0.
    • They love to hate each other.
    • Next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, which was located next door to the vet.
    • The doctor"s office was full of people waiting to see the doctor.
    • In the midst of the waiting room crowd, a side door opened and in leaned the vet; he had obviously seen my husband arrive.
    • He looked straight at my husband, "Your wife"s pussy is finally clean and shaved.
    • She now smells like a rose. And by the way, I think she"s pregnant. God knows who the father is!"
    • And he closed the door.
     
    #4956
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 15, 2018
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4957
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 15, 2018
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4958
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 15, 2018
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4959
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 15, 2018
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just seen a sign saying "Turkey £29.00" in a butcher's window.

    Blimey, that's £300 cheaper than at Thomas Cook!!
     
    #4960
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 15, 2018
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: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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