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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4881
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 31, 2018
    San Diego, Didley Squat and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4882
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 31, 2018
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4883
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 31, 2018
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4884
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 31, 2018
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4885
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 1, 2018
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  6. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    I love it!
    Should make em feel close and homely.
     
    #4886
    Didley Squat, Nov 1, 2018
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Reg, our Parcel Force delivery driver, sadly passed away yesterday.

    His funeral will be on Tuesday, sometime between 1 and 5 p.m.
     
    #4887
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 1, 2018
    Gordon Armstrong and San Diego like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4888
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 1, 2018
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4889
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 1, 2018
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4890
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 1, 2018
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My wife is a sex object.

    Every time I ask for sex, she objects....
     
    #4891
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 1, 2018
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4892
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 1, 2018
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  13. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    Make that years.......
     
    #4893
    Didley Squat, Nov 2, 2018
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Jack Brown was waiting anxiously outside the maternity ward where his wife was giving birth to their first baby. As he paced back and forth, a nurse popped
    her head around the door.

    "It's a boy, Mr Brown," she said, "but we think you'd better go and have a cup of coffee because there might be another one."

    Jack turned a bit pale and left. Some time later, he rang the hospital and was told he was the father of twins. "But," the nurse went on, "we're sure there's
    another on the way. Ring back again in a little while."

    Then Jack decided that coffee wasn't strong enough. He ordered a few beers and then he rang the hospital again, only to be told that a third baby had arrived
    and a fourth was due any moment. With a white face, Jack stumbled over to the bar and ordered a double scotch.

    Twenty minutes later he tried the phone again, but he was in such a state that he dialed the wrong number and instead got a recorded cricket score. When
    they picked him up from the floor of the phone booth, the recording was still going on, "The score is 96 all out, and the last one was a duck!"
     
    #4894
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 2, 2018
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4895
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 2, 2018
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Asked one of my colleagues if they were doing Movember earlier as I’d be happy to sponsor them.

    She didn’t reply and for some reason she’s now been in the toilets for 45 minutes, and I’ve just had an email from our HR dept.
     
    #4896
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 3, 2018
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4897
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 3, 2018
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A lorry laden with thousands of Thesauruses shed its load on the motorway yesterday.

    Witnesses were said to be stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, confused, shocked, dazed, bewildered, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, confounded, amazed, perplexed and speechless.
     
    #4898
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 3, 2018
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I'm not saying my girlfriend is the biggest in the ballet class.

    But, she is wearing a three three.....
     
    #4899
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 3, 2018
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #4900
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 4, 2018
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: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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