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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Jose Mourinho has just promised Man United fans that they will be in a major European competition next year.

    Even if he has to write the song himself.
     
    #4681
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 29, 2018
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4682
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 29, 2018
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4683
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 29, 2018
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4684
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 29, 2018
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4685
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 29, 2018
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4686
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2018
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Ryanair pilot shortage over.....
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    #4687
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2018
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    My grandad was a baker in the army.

    He went in all buns glazing.
     
    #4688
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2018
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    There was a magician who worked aboard a large cruise ship. Since cruise ship was constantly moving and the audience was different each week, he quickly got into a routine where he performed all the same tricks over and over again.

    However, there was one problem. The captain owned a parrot that saw the shows each week and soon began to understand the intricacies of how the magician performed each trick. Once it understood, it started shouting out the secrets during the middle of the show. Things like “Look, it’s not the same hat!” or “Look, he’s hiding the flowers under the table,” or “Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?”

    The magician naturally found this very frustrating but he wasn’t able to do anything about it. He’d already complained to the captain, who refused to keep his parrot away from the shows.

    Then, one day, there was a terrible storm and the cruise ship sank. Suddenly, the magician found himself floating on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the very same parrot.

    Day after day, they stared at each other with hatred, but neither would utter a single word. This went on for three days until, finally, on the fourth day, the parrot could not hold back.

    “OK, I give up. Where’s the f*cking ship?”
     
    #4689
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2018
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Applicants waiting to be interviewed at Old Trafford, as potential replacements for Jose Mourinho, if he quits.....
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    #4690
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2018
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4691
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2018
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I had 12 yoghurts on Friday night.

    I was Mullered....
     
    #4692
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2018
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Diane Abbott looking well at the recent Labour conference
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    #4693
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 1, 2018
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  14. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    Dozy Mourinho has said that he wants to go back to Portugal and never be seen or heard again.

    The McCann’s have offered to help :emoticon-0136-giggl
     
    #4694
    Gordon Armstrong, Oct 1, 2018
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  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    The best thing about being a stoner is ordering pizza and being surprised when it shows up
     
    #4695
    kiwiqpr, Oct 1, 2018
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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #4696
    kiwiqpr, Oct 1, 2018
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  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #4697
    kiwiqpr, Oct 1, 2018
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4698
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 1, 2018
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4699
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 1, 2018
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4700
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 1, 2018
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: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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