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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4541
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 12, 2018
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  2. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    Had a shower and took an up skirt of myself !
     
    #4542
    Didley Squat, Sep 13, 2018
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    • Two Irishman are making letter bombs.
    • Paddy says "Mick do you think I have put enough explosive in this envelope"
    • Mick says " Don"t know, open it and see"
    • "But it"ll explode" says Paddy
    • "Don"t Be Stupid" Mick says
    • "It"s not addressed to you!!"
     
    #4543
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 13, 2018
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    • I phoned up the clinic the other day to enquire about circumcision.....
    • I got cut off.
     
    #4544
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 13, 2018
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4545
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 13, 2018
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    A general store owner hires a young female assistant with a penchant for very short skirts.

    One day a young man enters the store, glances at the assistant, and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter.

    "I'd like some raisin bread, please," the man says politely.

    The assistant nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, located on the very top shelf.

    The man, standing almost directly beneath her, is provided with an excellent view.

    As the assistant retrieves the bread, a small group of male customers gather around the young man, looking in the same direction.

    Pretty soon each person is asking for raisin bread, just to see the assistant climb up and down.

    After a few trips the assistant is tired and irritated. She stops and fumes at the top of the ladder, glaring at the men standing below.

    She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd.

    "Is yours raisin too?" the assistant yells testily.

    "No," croaks the feeble old man....

    "But it's startin' to twitch!
     
    #4546
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 13, 2018
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Looks like ELO are touring again...

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    #4547
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 13, 2018
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4548
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 13, 2018
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4549
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 13, 2018
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4550
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 14, 2018
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    How come when Supermodels walk down the aisle in their underwear it's called "Art" and "Fashion".

    Yet when I do it,I'm "Drunk" and "Not allowed back into Tesco"
     
    #4551
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 14, 2018
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  12. mustyfrog

    mustyfrog Well-Known Member

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    I am now proud to announce that I am selling Adult toys. I hope no one is embarrassed to ask for them. I have all kinds, sizes and styles according to your needs. Discretion is guaranteed!! Inbox me if you have any questions. I have everything listed below...



    zimmer frames, wheelchairs, oxygen tanks, walking stick/canes, disposable diapers etc etc. What was your dirty mind thinking!
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    #4552
    mustyfrog, Sep 15, 2018
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4553
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 15, 2018
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4554
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 15, 2018
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I was at the moneychanger at the Heathrow airport today. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian - Japanese lady who was trying to exchange yen to pounds. It was obvious she was a little irritated.
    She asked the teller, "Why it change?Yesterday, I get two hunat pound fo my yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
    The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
    The Japanese lady says, "Fluc you white people too"..
     
    #4555
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 15, 2018
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    If he was in the Navy, he'd be a Rear Admiral....
     
    #4556
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 15, 2018
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #4557
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 15, 2018
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Steve Stone's sister Sharon
     
    #4558
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 15, 2018
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  19. mustyfrog

    mustyfrog Well-Known Member

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    "Babe is it in?" "Yea." "Does it hurt?" "Uh huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
     
    #4559
    mustyfrog, Sep 16, 2018
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  20. mustyfrog

    mustyfrog Well-Known Member

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    A small boy was playing in the garden and sees 2 spiders, He asks me "Is that a mummy long legs under that daddy long legs?" No , there is no mummy long legs only daddy long legs." I felt pretty proud of my answer, until he stomps on both spiders saying, " We'll have none of that gay **** in our ****ing garden.
     
    #4560
    mustyfrog, Sep 16, 2018
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Page 228 of 835
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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