1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 222 of 835
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,590
    Likes Received:
    299,069
    please log in to view this image
     
    #4421
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 30, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, Didley Squat and 2 others like this.
  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    117,042
    Likes Received:
    235,460
    please log in to view this image
     
    #4422
    kiwiqpr, Aug 30, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    117,042
    Likes Received:
    235,460
    please log in to view this image
     
    #4423
    kiwiqpr, Aug 30, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,590
    Likes Received:
    299,069
    please log in to view this image
     
    #4424
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 30, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, mustyfrog and 4 others like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,590
    Likes Received:
    299,069
    please log in to view this image
     
    #4425
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 30, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, Didley Squat and 2 others like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,590
    Likes Received:
    299,069
    please log in to view this image
     
    #4426
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 30, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.

  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,590
    Likes Received:
    299,069
    please log in to view this image
     
    #4427
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 31, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,590
    Likes Received:
    299,069
    .
     
    #4428
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 31, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, kiwiqpr, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,590
    Likes Received:
    299,069
    please log in to view this image
     
    #4428
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 31, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,590
    Likes Received:
    299,069
    Me and my wife have an open relationship.

    She opens my Wallet, my Mail and my Phone    .
    please log in to view this image
     
    #4429
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 31, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, mustyfrog, kiwiqpr and 2 others like this.
  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,590
    Likes Received:
    299,069
    Pope Francis was stopped by a woman in the Pheonix Park over the weekend and she begged him to help with her 19 year old son's hearing. He looked at the young man and walked towards him. He placed both hands over his ears, closed his eyes and said a beautiful prayer.

    The pope took his hands off the lads ears and smiled "how's your hearing now my son? "
    The lad replied " I haven't a clue I’m not in court until Tuesday”
     
    #4430
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 31, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, kiwiqpr and 2 others like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,590
    Likes Received:
    299,069
    Who are we playing tomorrow?

    please log in to view this image
     
    #4431
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 31, 2018
    kiwiqpr, mustyfrog, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,590
    Likes Received:
    299,069
    Playing doctors and nurses with the wife in the bedroom last night didn't go very well.

    Especially when I diagnosed her as clinically obese.
     
    #4432
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 31, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, kiwiqpr and 3 others like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,590
    Likes Received:
    299,069
    please log in to view this image
     
    #4433
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 31, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, kiwiqpr and 3 others like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,590
    Likes Received:
    299,069
    please log in to view this image
     
    #4434
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 31, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, mustyfrog and 3 others like this.
  16. mustyfrog

    mustyfrog Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2011
    Messages:
    27,790
    Likes Received:
    10,794
    An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. 'There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear.' Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. 'Now you must do the same,' he told the class. After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed. 'Second,' the professor continued, 'you must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this man's anus, but licked my index finger?'
     
    #4435
    mustyfrog, Sep 1, 2018
    Gordon Armstrong, Didley Squat, kiwiqpr and 2 others like this.
  17. San Diego

    San Diego Sir Mediator Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2011
    Messages:
    41,477
    Likes Received:
    103,385
    Good one ^ <laugh>
     
    #4436
    San Diego, Sep 1, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and mustyfrog like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,590
    Likes Received:
    299,069
    • Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911.
    • The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
    • "Where do you live?" asked the operator.
    • Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
    • The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
    • There was a long pause and finally Bubba said,
    • "How "bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
     
    #4437
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 1, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, San Diego and 3 others like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,590
    Likes Received:
    299,069
    please log in to view this image
     
    #4438
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 2, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, San Diego and 2 others like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,590
    Likes Received:
    299,069
    I went on a date with my dentist.

    It went really well, she wants to see me again in 6 months time
     
    #4439
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 2, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, mustyfrog and 1 other person like this.
  21. mustyfrog

    mustyfrog Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2011
    Messages:
    27,790
    Likes Received:
    10,794
    A Chinese bloke comes into the pub, stands next to me and starts drinking..I said to him, do you know any of those martial arts like Kung- Fu, Ju-Jitsu or Karate? He said, why da fuk you ask me dat? Is it coz I Chinese?
    No I said it's because you're drinking my fcuking beer.
     
    #4440
    mustyfrog, Sep 2, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, Wooperts_duck and 2 others like this.
Page 222 of 835
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

Share This Page