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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3761
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 17, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 2 others like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I filled out a job application for the local council today and under disabilities I put narcolepsy and tourettes syndrome.

    So not only will I be able to sleep at work, but if someone tries to wake me up I can tell them to f*ck off.
     
    #3762
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 17, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 2 others like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3763
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 17, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Hoop-Leif, kiwiqpr and 3 others like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Merkel reacts to Germany being beaten by Mexico.

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    #3764
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 18, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, kiwiqpr, San Diego and 2 others like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3765
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 18, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, kiwiqpr, San Diego and 2 others like this.
  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #3766
    kiwiqpr, Jun 18, 2018
    Didley Squat, San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3767
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 18, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, San Diego and 2 others like this.
  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #3768
    kiwiqpr, Jun 18, 2018
    Didley Squat, San Diego, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Polish football fans on a rampage in Moscow. Police say over 300 cars have been washed, waxed and hoovered
     
    #3769
    kiwiqpr, Jun 18, 2018
    Didley Squat, San Diego, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The ref in the England vs Tunisia match...

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    #3770
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 18, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, kiwiqpr and 1 other person like this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3771
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 18, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, kiwiqpr and 1 other person like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3772
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 18, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, kiwiqpr and 1 other person like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3773
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 19, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I went to the Patent office to register some of my camping inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.
    I said, "A folding bottle."
    She said, "Okay, what do you call it?"
    "A Fottle."
    "What else do you have?"
    "I have also invented a folding carton."
    Again she said, "what do you call it?"
    "A Farton."
    She sniggered and said, "Those are silly names for products, and one of them sounds kind of crude."
    I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket
     
    #3774
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 19, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I got cut up by a taxi driver last week.
    I was walking through town today and I saw him at the back of the queue at the taxi rank.
    I got in the first taxi in the queue and said "How much to the station ?"
    "£5" said the driver. "And how much for a blow job ?" I asked him.
    "That's disgusting" he said "Get out of my cab"
    I got in the second taxi and said "How much to the station ?".
    "£5" said the driver. "And how much for a blow job ?" I asked him.
    "I'm not having any of that" he said "Get out of my cab"
    I worked my way down the line, getting thrown out of each taxi in turn, until I came to my target at the back of the queue.
    "How much to the station ?". "£5" said the driver.
    "Ok" I said "Let's go"
    As we pulled out and overtook the other taxis I wound the window down and gave all the other drivers a thumbs up with a big grin on my face!!..
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    #3775
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 19, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3776
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 19, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3777
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 19, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3778
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 19, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3779
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 20, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3780
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 20, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
Page 189 of 834
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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