1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 183 of 834
  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    117,010
    Likes Received:
    235,270
    made from 95 %australian ingredients
    the other 5% is beef
     
    #3641
    kiwiqpr, May 30, 2018
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    117,010
    Likes Received:
    235,270
    Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced,
    "Please prepare for a crash landing!"
    The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady said, "Well when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first."
    The second lady not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra.
    "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned
    "Well when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first."
    The third lady who was African, not wanting to be out done took off her pants and panties.
    "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned.
    "Well they always search for the black box first?"
     
    #3642
    kiwiqpr, May 30, 2018
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,489
    Likes Received:
    298,638
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3643
    Wooperts_duck, May 30, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and kiwiqpr like this.
  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    117,010
    Likes Received:
    235,270
    Pepsi and Shirley haven't aged well...
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3644
    kiwiqpr, May 30, 2018
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    117,010
    Likes Received:
    235,270
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3645
    kiwiqpr, May 30, 2018
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,489
    Likes Received:
    298,638
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3646
    Wooperts_duck, May 30, 2018
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,489
    Likes Received:
    298,638
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3647
    Wooperts_duck, May 30, 2018
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,489
    Likes Received:
    298,638
    Phil and Gary Neville back in their early days....

    please log in to view this image
     
    #3648
    Wooperts_duck, May 30, 2018
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,489
    Likes Received:
    298,638
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3649
    Wooperts_duck, May 30, 2018
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    117,010
    Likes Received:
    235,270
    night out in rochdale
     
    #3650
    kiwiqpr, May 31, 2018
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,489
    Likes Received:
    298,638
    Wouldn't the song "Love really hurts without you" by Billy Ocean be a great choice for a Vaseline advert.
     
    #3651
    Wooperts_duck, May 31, 2018
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and kiwiqpr like this.
  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    117,010
    Likes Received:
    235,270
    A German tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my precious little dog who was drowning,
    after he climbed out he handed me the dog and said
    “here is ze dog keep him warm and dry him off he vill be fine”
    I said “are you a vet?”
    He replied “vet?..
    I’m ****ing soaking
     
    #3652
    kiwiqpr, May 31, 2018
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,489
    Likes Received:
    298,638
    Real Madrid have put in a bid for Mo Salah.

    If he declines, Sergio Ramos has offered to try and twist his other arm.
     
    #3653
    Wooperts_duck, May 31, 2018
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,489
    Likes Received:
    298,638
    Q. What do you call a fat psychic ?

    A. A four-chin teller
     
    #3654
    Wooperts_duck, May 31, 2018
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,489
    Likes Received:
    298,638
    Two deaf blokes were out one evening and decided to call into a pub for a pint. One said, by means of signing, “You sit down, I’ll get these.”
    “Two pints best bitter please” he said to the bartender, signing and talking in that inimitable way that the deaf have.
    “That’ll be eight pounds please.”
    “Eight ****in’ quid for two pints!!! Why?”
    “We’ve got music on.”
    “Music! We’re deaf. What sort of music is it anyway? Is it rock ‘n’ roll?”
    “No.”
    “Is it soul?”
    “No.”
    “Is it R ‘n’ B?”
    “No.”
    “Well what is it?”
    “It’s country and western.” At that he takes the beers over to his mate and tells him “Eight ****in’ quid for two pints.”
    “Whhaaaat? Why?”
    “They’ve got music on.”
    “Music!! We’re deaf fer crissake! What sort of music is it anyway, is it rock ‘n’ roll?”
    “No.”
    “Well is it soul?”
    “No.”
    “Well is it R ‘n’ B?”
    “No.”
    “Well what is it then?”
    “It’s some c*nt from Preston . . . .
     
    #3655
    Wooperts_duck, May 31, 2018
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,489
    Likes Received:
    298,638
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3656
    Wooperts_duck, May 31, 2018
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  17. Paulpowersleftfoot

    Paulpowersleftfoot Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    4,472
    Likes Received:
    2,783
    Without doubt my favourite Robin Williams film is Mrs Fire.
     
    #3657
    Paulpowersleftfoot, Jun 2, 2018
    Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,489
    Likes Received:
    298,638
    • We were that poor when I was a kid, my parents used to get my school clothes from the Army surplus shop.
    • Nothing wrong with that you might say.
    • But do you realise how badly bullied you get going school dressed as a Japanese sniper.
     
    #3658
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 3, 2018
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,489
    Likes Received:
    298,638
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3659
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 3, 2018
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,489
    Likes Received:
    298,638
    LOOK AT THE TITS ON THIS !!! :shocked:

    please log in to view this image
     
    #3660
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 3, 2018
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
Page 183 of 834
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

Share This Page