1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3441
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3442
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    Yulia Skripal was discharged from hospital yesterday so I asked her out for a drink to take her mind off her recent ordeal.

    Unfortunately she stormed out of the pub after less than a minute. Maybe "Whats your poison?" Wasn't the best opening line!
     
    #3443
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3444
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    • Best day of my life was when i walked down the asile towards my wife,
    • everyone was similing,
    • her mum had a few nice things to say,
    • I gave her a kiss and shut the bloody coffin!!!!!!
     
    #3445
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3446
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3447
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3448
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3449
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3450
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
    The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
    The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
    The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.
    "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."
    The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?"
    The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
     
    #3451
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3452
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3453
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    Very useful, if you are struggling to hold onto a lead.......

    please log in to view this image
     
    #3454
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    I've been reading 'Lord Of The Rings'. Apparently Gollum was once a normal man. But wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life.

    Must be the same ring I put on when I got married.
     
    #3455
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3456
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    Has Katie Price/Jordan died ?!

    please log in to view this image
     
    #3457
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    Just want to thank a few people for helping with my preparation for this years London Marathon.

    SCS for the sofa, LG for the TV, Hovis and Walls for the bacon sandwich.
     
    #3458
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    please log in to view this image
     
    #3459
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,851
    Likes Received:
    262,533
    New Premier League Football Table......

    please log in to view this image
     
    #3460
    Didley Squat and San Diego like this.

Share This Page