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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3341
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 18, 2018
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3342
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 18, 2018
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3343
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 18, 2018
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  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #3344
    kiwiqpr, Mar 18, 2018
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3345
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 18, 2018
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3346
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 18, 2018
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • A minister, a priest, and a rabbi went for a hike one very hot day.
    • They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake.
    • Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water.
    • Refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom."
    • As they were crossing an open area, along came a group of ladies from town.
    • The men ran for cover, with the minister and priest covering their privates and the rabbi covering his face.
    • After the ladies were gone and the men had retrieved their clothes, the minister asked the rabbi why he covered his face and not his privates.
    • The rabbi replied, "I don"t know about you, but in MY congregation, it"s my face they would recognize."
     
    #3347
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 19, 2018
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • There is hell to pay in Bradford tonight.

    • Petrol had gone up by another 5 rupee"s
     
    #3348
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 19, 2018
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3349
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 19, 2018
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3350
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 19, 2018
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3351
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 20, 2018
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    New Japanese sex robots are lifelike !

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    #3352
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 20, 2018
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I can see two years into the future.


    I've got 2020 vision.....
     
    #3353
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 20, 2018
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    An Irishman man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk,
    when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.
    He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher.
    The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol,
    whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"
    The drunk shouts, "Yes, I am."
    So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.
    He pulls him back and asks, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"
    The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus!"
    The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer.
    He again pulls him out of the water and asks, "Have you found Jesus, brother?"
    The drunk answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus!"
    By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk again –
    but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when
    he begins kicking his arms and legs about, he pulls him up.
    The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"
    The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water,
    catches his breath, and says to the preacher,

    "Are you sure this is where he fell in?”
     
    #3354
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 21, 2018
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    ISIS Bomber Squadron

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    #3355
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 21, 2018
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Have you ever wondered about those people who pay a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water?

    Try spelling Evian backwards!
     
    #3356
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 21, 2018
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  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #3357
    kiwiqpr, Mar 21, 2018
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I realised my parents favoured my twin brother when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.
     
    #3358
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 21, 2018
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  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    How the seasons work in the UK:
    Jan - Cold
    Feb – Still Cold
    Mar – Still cold but snow now
    Apr - Rain
    May – More rain
    Jun – Why is it still raining
    July - BEES
    Aug – Oh god it is so hot
    Sept – I miss the heat
    Oct – Heat is simply a memory
    Nov - Cold
    Dec – Cold but with capitalism
     
    #3359
    kiwiqpr, Mar 21, 2018
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3360
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 21, 2018
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Page 168 of 834
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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