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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3281
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 9, 2018
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Today is International Women's Day.

    It was supposed to be yesterday, but they took longer than expected to get ready.
     
    #3282
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 9, 2018
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY "THOMAS COOK VACATIONS" FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS:

    1. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."

    2. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."

    3. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

    4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."

    5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

    6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

    7. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

    8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

    9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."

    10. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

    11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

    12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

    13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

    14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.' We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

    15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

    16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

    17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

    18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

    19. "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

    BE AWARE ...THEY WALK AMONG US and THEY VOTE!...
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    ..
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    :)
     
    #3283
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 9, 2018
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    England reveal new kit for Russian World Cup:

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    #3284
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 9, 2018
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    As civil servant compares UK's EU deal to a 'packet of crisps', Walkers unveils new Brexit range:

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    #3285
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 9, 2018
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    As supply problems force closure of hundreds of restaurants, KFC make emergency changes to their menu:

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    #3286
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 9, 2018
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3287
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 9, 2018
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Leaked image emerges from dress rehearsal of Donald Trump’s planned military parade:

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    #3288
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 9, 2018
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3289
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 10, 2018
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3290
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 10, 2018
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3291
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 10, 2018
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3292
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 10, 2018
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3293
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 10, 2018
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Just found out my uncle has left me a stately home in his will.

    I have no idea where Sod Hall is, I'm just off to Google it now!
     
    #3294
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 10, 2018
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  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #3295
    kiwiqpr, Mar 11, 2018
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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Did I tell you about my friend David? He lost his ID. I now just call him Dav
     
    #3296
    kiwiqpr, Mar 11, 2018
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  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Momentum Bolton‏@MomentumBolton Mar 7
    Tonight we are holding a meeting to plan our campaign against Voters ID, a shocking attempt by the Tories to subvert democracy in the UK. 6pm at The Socialist Club. Members only. Please bring your membership card.
     
    #3297
    kiwiqpr, Mar 11, 2018
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3298
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 11, 2018
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3299
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 11, 2018
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #3300
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 11, 2018
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Page 165 of 834
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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