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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • Fred and Mavis are enjoying a nice afternoon in the cinema.
    • After 20 or so minutes Mavis leans over to her husband and whispers "Fred, the man next to me is having a w*nk"
    • "Just ignore him" Fred replies, engrossed in the film.
    • "I can"t" she replies, "he"s using my hand..."
     
    #3241
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 2, 2018
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • My wife was telling her friend that obesity is in her genes.

    • I was compelled to point out that wasn't true as she looks like a fat twat in a skirt as well.
     
    #3242
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 2, 2018
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • For Sale- One glove.

    • Genuine reason for sale: caught shoplifting in Saudi Arabia.......
     
    #3243
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 2, 2018
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3244
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 2, 2018
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3245
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 2, 2018
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3246
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 2, 2018
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3247
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 2, 2018
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  8. Wooperts_duck

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    #3248
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 2, 2018
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #3249
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 2, 2018
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Meanwhile in Barnsley.........

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    #3250
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 2, 2018
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Justice has been served
    There's been some thug called Carl going round breaking in to people's houses near me for months, but the police couldn't catch him. The weirdest thing about it all is he was breaking into people's houses just to ruin their washing machines by putting bricks in to them & turning them on!!!!! Really weird if you ask me... Anyway, just read that he was found dead in an alley because of a drug overdose.. It's never nice hearing of someones death, but on the bright side, washing machines live longer with Carl gone...


    Just heard on news there's a cure for dyslexia...
    I thought that's music to my arse!
     
    #3251
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 4, 2018
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The Manchester City coach was delayed on their way back from Wembley last week.

    They had to stop at IKEA to buy a cabinet.
     
    #3252
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 4, 2018
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    It's that cold, I thought I'd check on my 80 year old next door neighbour Mike, to see if he needed anything from the shop.

    He said he did, so I gave him a list of things I needed as there's no point of us both going out in the snow and getting cold.
     
    #3253
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 4, 2018
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  14. Wooperts_duck

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    • I"ll tell you what I really hate about my new Thai bride.

    • She keeps leaving the toilet seat up!
     
    #3254
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 4, 2018
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  15. Wooperts_duck

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    #3255
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 4, 2018
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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #3256
    kiwiqpr, Mar 4, 2018
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  17. Wooperts_duck

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    #3257
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 4, 2018
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  18. Wooperts_duck

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    #3258
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 4, 2018
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  19. Wooperts_duck

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    #3259
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 4, 2018
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  20. Wooperts_duck

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    #3260
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 4, 2018
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Page 163 of 834
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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