1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 143 of 834
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,322
    Likes Received:
    298,207
    I certainly wouldn't fancy a squirrel on my dick :shocked:
     
    #2841
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 13, 2017
    San Diego, Didley Squat, kiwiqpr and 1 other person like this.
  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,975
    Likes Received:
    235,117
    please log in to view this image

    When you write a letter to Satan instead of Santa asking for a puppy.
     
    #2842
    kiwiqpr, Dec 13, 2017
    San Diego, Didley Squat and Wooperts_duck like this.
  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,975
    Likes Received:
    235,117
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2843
    kiwiqpr, Dec 13, 2017
    San Diego, Didley Squat and Wooperts_duck like this.
  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,975
    Likes Received:
    235,117
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2844
    kiwiqpr, Dec 13, 2017
    San Diego, Didley Squat and Wooperts_duck like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,322
    Likes Received:
    298,207
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2845
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 15, 2017
    kiwiqpr, Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,322
    Likes Received:
    298,207
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2846
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 15, 2017
    kiwiqpr, Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,322
    Likes Received:
    298,207
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2847
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 15, 2017
    kiwiqpr, Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,322
    Likes Received:
    298,207
    What do we want?

    Northern Irish accents.

    When do we want them?

    Noy.
     
    #2848
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 15, 2017
    kiwiqpr, Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,322
    Likes Received:
    298,207
    please log in to view this image


    Trees Up !!
     
    #2849
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 15, 2017
    kiwiqpr, Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,322
    Likes Received:
    298,207
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2850
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 15, 2017
    kiwiqpr, Didley Squat and San Diego like this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,322
    Likes Received:
    298,207
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2851
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 15, 2017
    kiwiqpr, Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,322
    Likes Received:
    298,207
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2852
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 15, 2017
    kiwiqpr, San Diego and Didley Squat like this.
  13. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    28,053
    Likes Received:
    66,367
    Woops, forgot to unplug the 3 Phase vibrator.
     
    #2853
    Didley Squat, Dec 16, 2017
    kiwiqpr, Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,322
    Likes Received:
    298,207
    Welsh film remakes soon to be released:-

    An American Werewolf in Powys
    Huw Dares Gwyneth
    Dai Hard
    The Wizard of Oswestry
    Cool Hand Look-you
    Sheepless in Seattle
    The Eagle has Llandudno
     
    #2854
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 16, 2017
    kiwiqpr and San Diego like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,322
    Likes Received:
    298,207
    This is the wurst tree I've seen this year

    please log in to view this image
     
    #2855
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 16, 2017
    kiwiqpr and San Diego like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,322
    Likes Received:
    298,207
    Irish animal rights protesters broke into a Turkey farm outside Dublin last night, they escaped with 5,000 Turkeys.

    A spokesman for the gang said, "We will be releasing the birds back into the wild, just as soon as they have been defrosted!"
     
    #2856
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 16, 2017
    kiwiqpr and San Diego like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,322
    Likes Received:
    298,207
    A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.

    First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does so, a huge fish jumps out of the water and bites him. To show the fish who's boss, he beats it to death with a spade.

    Realising his employer won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the Lions.

    Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he gets attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two of the chimps with his spade, killing them both. 'Feed them to the lions.' He says to himself. So he hurls the corpses into the Lion enclosure.

    He moves on to the last job, which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the Lions cage.

    Later that day a new Lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion
    and says "Alright pal. What's the food like here?"

    The Lion replies, "F*cking brilliant mate, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees."
     
    #2857
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 16, 2017
    kiwiqpr and San Diego like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,322
    Likes Received:
    298,207
    I just got back from a friends funeral who drowned last week. I took a load of abuse for my floral tribute that was in the shape of a lifejacket, but as I told everyone at the service, it's what he would've wanted!
     
    #2858
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 16, 2017
    kiwiqpr, San Diego and Kittenish like this.
  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,975
    Likes Received:
    235,117
    The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?" The blonde quickly responded "The living one"
     
    #2859
    kiwiqpr, Dec 18, 2017
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    161,322
    Likes Received:
    298,207
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2860
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 19, 2017
    San Diego and kiwiqpr like this.
Page 143 of 834
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

Share This Page