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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2821
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 11, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, Kittenish, Didley Squat and 2 others like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Every Christmas I'd come running downstairs to the big pile of presents and start unwrapping them as fast as I could. Sometimes there would be fights over who had the best toys but we would all make up later and sit down to have a three hour lunch before watching TV for the rest of the day.

    I really love working at the Royal Mail sorting office!
     
    #2822
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 12, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2823
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 12, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2824
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 12, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2825
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 12, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Kittenish and 2 others like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Two Foot of Snow outside
     
    #2826
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 12, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Snow.................. The only time a woman gets excited over 4 inches.
     
    #2827
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 12, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Historians in Ireland have discovered what they believe to be the headstone of the oldest ever living man.

    He was 193 and his name was Miles from Dublin.
     
    #2828
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 12, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    At this time of the year, there's nothing I like better than sitting in front of a roaring fire with a glass of mulled wine, a bag of roasted chestnuts, and singing Christmas carols.

    Mind you, it meant I lost my job as a fireman!
     
    #2829
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 12, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I'm going to miss my father this Christmas, but I know he'll be up there, looking down at us all.

    Moaning about the broken stair lift.
     
    #2830
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 12, 2017
    San Diego, Didley Squat and kiwiqpr like this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The Proclaimers' lawn is getting out of control and they are blaming B&Q.

    They've been to Bathgate, no mower. Linwood, no mower. Irvine, no mower.
     
    #2831
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 12, 2017
    San Diego, Didley Squat and kiwiqpr like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I'm cooking a lamb roast for my new girlfriend tonight to prove to her that I'm not a useless twat as she suggests.

    Now, where the f*ck is the defrosting option on this tumble dryer?
     
    #2832
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 12, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The AA have warned anyone travelling in icy conditions to carry a shovel, sleeping bag, 24 hours worth of food and drink, de-icer, rock salt and a torch.

    I felt like a right idiot on the bus....
     
    #2833
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 12, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and kiwiqpr like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2834
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 12, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Kittenish and 1 other person like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2835
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 12, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and kiwiqpr like this.
  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #2836
    kiwiqpr, Dec 13, 2017
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    VEGETARIANS:- Robert Plant makes an ideal alternative to Meat Loaf.
     
    #2837
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 13, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, kiwiqpr and San Diego like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The downside of being a bomb disposal technician is that it takes me six hours to open my Christmas presents.
     
    #2838
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 13, 2017
    Makemstine Roger, kiwiqpr, Kittenish and 1 other person like this.
  19. Kittenish

    Kittenish Well-Known Member

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    Not a joke but very funny. From the land of kiwi <laugh>

     
    #2839
    Kittenish, Dec 13, 2017
    kiwiqpr, Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  20. San Diego

    San Diego Sir Mediator
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    Nice one <laugh>
     
    #2840
    San Diego, Dec 13, 2017
    kiwiqpr and Wooperts_duck like this.
Page 142 of 834
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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