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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • How many women with PMT does it take to change a light bulb?
    • YOU TELL ME MR SMARTARSE !!
    • AND IF YOUR SO SMART YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN FCUKING TEA!!I
    • "I'M GOING TO MY MOTHERS !!
     
    #2641
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • What"s small and confuses paedophiles?
    • Midgets.
     
    #2642
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • The NHS has announced that all sperm banks in Manchester and West London will close for the next 7 days as all the w*nkers will be in Moscow.
     
    #2643
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    • Little Johnny asks his redneck daddy, "what"s sex?"
    • Dad figured to keep it simple and ordered ma upstairs and to strip.
    • Ma strips and lies on her back, then Pa says to Johnny, "you see that hole on your ma there? You just watch yer old daddy go!" and so he proceeds to demonstrate sex for Johnny.
    • Johnny"s watching with interest when his sister came in and asked, "Johnny, what are they doing?"
    • Johnny said, "sex."She asked, "what is sex?"
    • So Johnny says, "you see that hole on Pa there? Well, you just watch your little brother go!"
     
    #2644
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2645
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  6. Wooperts_duck

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    #2646
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  7. Wooperts_duck

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    #2647
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  8. Wooperts_duck

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    #2648
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  9. Wooperts_duck

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  10. Wooperts_duck

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  11. Wooperts_duck

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    #2651
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  12. Wooperts_duck

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    #2652
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  13. Wooperts_duck

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  14. Wooperts_duck

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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My local pub is rough as f*ck.

    I went to the quiz the other night and the first question asked was, "What the f*ck are you looking at?"
     
    #2655
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Details have been released about the death of Fats Domino.

    Apparently he collapsed into a family member, who collapsed into another family member, who collapsed into another family member........
     
    #2656
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Little Johnny comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.

    "Not yet," said Little Johnny.

    His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.

    Well, he's a little pissed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.

    He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs and he kicks a pig.

    He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

    "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

    "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week.

    I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk."

    Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.

    Little Johnny looks up at his mother with a smile, and says: "Are you going to tell him, or should I?
     
    #2657
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Have you noticed how many F1 drivers have names linked to Scottish towns?

    Stirling Moss.
    Lewis Hamilton.
    Eddie Irvine.
    Ayr Town centre.
     
    #2658
  19. Wherever

    Wherever Well-Known Member

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    Don't forget jimmy and Damian Galloway Hills
     
    #2659
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  20. Wooperts_duck

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