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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Bring your child to work day must be awkward for prostitutes!
     
    #2381
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 1, 2017
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    What’s the difference between Katie Price and the Grand Old Duke of York?

    The Grand Old Duke of York only had ten thousand men.
     
    #2382
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 1, 2017
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  3. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

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    I was feeling very lonely so I bought some shares.

    It’s nice to have a bit of company.
     
    #2383
    UTRs, Oct 1, 2017
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2384
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 2, 2017
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2385
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 2, 2017
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2386
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 3, 2017
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause,

    "Please send me a sister."

    Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
     
    #2387
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 4, 2017
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My colleague said to me, "I bet you can't see your dick when you look down in the shower."

    "No, just your daughter's head," I replied.
     
    #2388
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 4, 2017
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2389
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 4, 2017
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2390
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 4, 2017
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2391
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 4, 2017
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2392
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 4, 2017
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I'm not the kind of guy to distance himself from anything, far from it.
     
    #2393
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 4, 2017
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married...

    The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.'
    I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'
    Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.
    Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

    Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.

    Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

    I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

    (Even when totally smashed.... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)

    The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't seem pissed off in the least.

    Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.'

    When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh sh1t.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.
     
    #2394
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 4, 2017
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2395
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 4, 2017
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2396
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 4, 2017
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2397
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 4, 2017
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2398
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 4, 2017
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2399
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 4, 2017
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2400
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 4, 2017
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: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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