The barnsley joke page

I knew that too

 

I know nothing

 

Sergeant Schultz

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I agree with sarge

 

i took the missus tampon out the other night and replaced it with a party popper, no sense of humour.

 

Two lesbians are out golfing. They both hit the ball and one goes to the left, the other goes to the right.
The first woman finds her ball in a field of buttercups. She hits a beautiful shot and sends the ball sailing across the green. Unfortunately, she destroys the buttercups.
Suddenly a goddess appears and says, "I am Mother Nature, and I do not like the way you have treated my buttercups. As a consequence, each time you taste butter you will be sickened to the point of total nausea. You will never be able to eat butter again." The goddess then disappears as quickly as she appeared.
Shaken, the woman calls to her partner ,"Hey, did you find your ball?"
The second woman replies "Yes, it's over here in these pussy willows."
The first woman yells "DON'T HIT THE BALL!!! DON'T HIT THE BALL!!!"

 

when you gonna post a joke kiwi

 

I thought utrs was doing the jokes

 

yeah, where is utr's

 

A high school teacher was arrested today at Sydney’s Kingsford-Smith International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

At the press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious extremist Al-Gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the AFP with carrying weapons of maths instruction.

'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns;" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are three sides to every triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, Federal Opposition Leader Bill Shorten said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

Fellow Labor colleagues told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the Opposition Leader.

 

i'm searching for the joke thread

 

im sure I saw it earlier

 

i'm off to bed to think about it

 

night night bbh

 

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word..
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.

 

I put one on the Watford board

Elton is filing for divorce
David is having sex behind his back

They never seemed to get it

 

I think you may have finally found a joke thread

 

definatly worth celebrating bbh

 

A husband and wife were watching a tv programme about psychology which explained the phenomenon of mixed emotions.
The husband turned to his wife and said "darling,what a load of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that'll make me happy and sad at the same time"
She replies "out of all your friends,your the best in bed"