.... holding a soggy copy of Hip Hop Hunnies magazine with pages stuck together, he glanced over at Piskie, who dreamed sweet dreams about a scantily clad Brazilian women's volleyball team feeding him grapes, rum and fat Havana cigars under a palm tree on a hot coca cabana beach - whilst Jayram twitched in the corner like a small dog dreaming about chasing rabbits. 'What happened in here whilst I was ........
...fortunately for JayRam, WhyAlwaysMe has the spatial awareness of a Rhino, and charges head-down at full speed. Jayram, with Ninja-like speed, side-stepped WhyAlwaysMe, leaving a trailing leg over which he fell, landing head-first in the giant bowl of Jelly that had been prepared for later. Stumbling and half-blind, WhyAlwaysMe staggers around, hopelessly clawing at his own face and moaning "Why...Always...ME??" before collapsing on the sofa, right on top of...
Can you two make a new years resolution not to ruin all the good things on the board with your pathetic squabbling please? I'm absolutely sick of it.
All this time David Dein was watching from afar thinking 'what a bunch of clowns!' I'll call Arsene and say :
....'You know what Arsene old buddy ? I think it's time that you and I hatched a plan to oust that old fool Peter Hill-Wood and instate me as Chairman. The bumbling old git chucked me out for Bringing in Stan and now he's chummed right up to the Yank, what a ****er! I did more for this club that that old tosser has ever done, and that's how he repayed me, by chucking me out on the streets and having to forge an alliance with that fat russian crook.' Waiting for Arsene's reply, David Dein then realised that he'd forgot to press the numbers and actually call him and that he'd been speaking to himself all the time.... 'Oh Bollocks!' he muttered, if only I wasn't such a .............
...'I am the ghost of Christmas past.' (The fairy looked a lot like David Dein) 'I have come to show you the mistakes you've made in the past and help you for the future' . Then an vision appeared in front of Dein's eyes. It was of a Fat Russian crook 'Join me David, together we'll control Arsenal' said the apparition. Dein, stunned by the vision before him uttered 'But Usmanov said he was a kosher chap!' 'Don't listen to that bollocks' said the fairy, ' I will show you a vision of the present' The fairy then said a few incantations, waved his arms around and a vision of Stan Kronke appeared........
Stan softly spoke ' don't mess with me kid. I can buy you ten times over you little shiny arsed runt' I don't believe in fairies you glitterball. Stan rolled up a dollar bill - lit it and stuffed it up the fairy's dress.
