Hi Bob, I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through and hope the good days far outweigh the bad ones. I can sympathise with the ridiculous ATOS process. Debbie was 3 weeks away from being diagnosed when she had the medical so we didn't even know for certain (they knew the appointment was coming up months before the medical). She's now diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, acute depression and anxiety (plus, underactive thyroid and, IMO, undiagnosed OCD) and takes a few hours to get going each day (some worse than others). The ATOS appointment was summed up best when they asked about her depression and, because her scars are self-harming rather than suicidal ones and because her tablet overdose didn't hospitalise her, she's mentally fit for work. This was while she was in humiliated tears because her Dad was there with us and he didn't know. In isolation, all the issues would be manageable although she needs lots of time for the CFS but in combination it renders her unable to do anything near what she wants to (she worked for 22 years prior to this). Typically, she wakes up, takes a couple of hours to get going (joint and muscle pains) and then proceeds slowly through her lists of things to do (many different lists that the thought of not doing fills her with dread hence the OCD comment). The reduced performance (they call that symptom brain fog) causes her frustration and upset and then she starts writing her thoughts down in a diary. A doctor years ago told her to keep a diary but this too has spiralled out of control and she probably averages 10 pages per day which takes more time, gets her behind further and causes more frustration. I can't break any of the cycle (I did start trying to learn some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy at one stage) and the mental health services bat her about - the main people who should help (IAPT) won't touch her because she has suicidal thoughts and she asked to see a psychiatrist who just referred her back to them. Sadly, I have no money to go private and so, since the merest letter from DWP sets her off (writing, crying and wanting to end it all) we've had to drop her out of the system. Just leaves me trying to remain positive, consistent and as helpful as she'll let me just so she can get through stuff as well and quickly as possible and get the sleep she needs to start the road to recovery (5-6 hours sleep is normal for us now due to things overrunning). According to ATOS, she's nil points on mental and physical health though because she can lift a pen and walk 200 yards. Sorry it's a long one but it's difficult to describe. All the very best to you and your wife Bob in the times ahead, Matt
many thanks Matt and i wish you two see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. its a very discrimitive business and some only see obvious physical disabilities. my wife was a trolley dolley and part time model when we met, she puts a bit of make up on, looks pretty takes my son to school and people presume she's fine. its only when you see it 24/7 then you get the full picture. you just have to get on as best as possible, we just had our second child 5 weeks ago and we are coping with the help of family. i may have to leave my job as a coach as the money is crap and go back to being a plasterer full time. life is tough but you can never give up and don't let the different agencies get you down. they make you feel like a fraud just because some do fraud the system. im not sure if they have this charity near where you are but research a thing called D.I.A.L they are a fantastic help.
Thanks Bob. They have this idea that, if you have any pride in your appearance then you're fine. Particularly women feel the need to show the world their best side (an external sign of strength and coping however they really feel - I think sometimes to believe it themselves) and no matter how long it takes them to get ready. The amateurs at ATOS think this is a surest sign of health there is. I'll definitely look into DIAL - thanks again.
the only advice i can give when filling in any paperwork etc is to describe your finances worst day all the time as i said before, they don't cater for any fluctuation. dial were fantastic for us so i hope they have them near you.
I greatly admire the candour of those contributing here. I don't believe that I could have divulged as much, even from the relative safety of my crap pseudonym. I wish you all every comfort and happiness and very much hope the New Year brings you much to celebrate.
Sorry Matt I'm not knowledgable on your tax query, not surprising really living here in Peru, but I do want to wish you and your partner the very best from afar and to say I will be praying for your situation
