T in the ****ing mud

Magic Laudrup are you fae Calderwood ya bass!

I was Gardenhall boy I dont like Calderwooders! yous are too old skool!

And yees couldnae skate for shizz, in the Ice Rink at the plaza, I got aw the EK pussy cos I could do pirouttes in my Bauers!

 

I'm an convert calderwooder. Stayed in the Murray until I was 18. YMR ya ****.

 

he is actually a gook

 

Aye, but I've quit my job now. Finish on the 3rd August and going to study for 5 years All that money that I saved up will quickly disappear.

 

Study what?

 

Medicine

 

Offt, **** sake. That will be a mission

 

Aye no half. Went out today and bought a human biology book a lecturer told me to read before starting. Looked at it at lunchtime and nearly shat myself

In a few years you will need to avoid Dr Callum McSporran at all costs <shipman>

 

The Murray, jees oh! you have done well to live through yer late Teens.

 

just go back to work as a cad monkey in the holidays and save up again each year. thats what i am doing. the uni holidays are massive so i can save about 3k outside term time and top up the student loan with homers through term time.

 

My boss has asked me if I want to sign up as a consultant cad technician. Do hours when I want and get about £18 an hour. I would do the odd Saturday and all holidays. 10 hours a day whenever I can be arsed. I reckon I could get through to the end without taking a student loan. Managed to save quite a bit in the 7 years I've worked here and paid pretty much everything in cash. Only bills I have are mortgage, sky, council tax, gas & leccy and car insurance. Most of that is split with the bird, so I only need to bring in about £200 a month to cover myself.

 

So, what are you going to do? Be a Chemist?

<VIAGRAPRESCRIPTION>

 

Your mortgage, sky, council tax, gas & leccy and car insurance is less than £400 per month? I must look in to properties in EK!

 

take a bursary from saas, you dont have to pay it back and i get about 200 a month from it.

 

Mortgage = £300 a month
Sky = £60 a month
Gas & leccy = £50 a month
Council tax = £90 a month
Car Insurance = £100 a month

Fair enough that adds up to £600, but I would expect my bird to pay a bit more than me. She gets over £2k a month, so she can pay a bit extra.

Dougie, I've applied to SAAS and waiting to hear back from them what I'm due. I'll probably end up being better off studying than I am working! Then when I'm done I'll be walking into a well paid job where I'm guaranteed to see tits etc.

 

you are also guaranteed to see wrinkly auld baw sacks too

 

We spiked my mate with one of those herbal viagras on a subcrawl 2 weeks ago Straight into the pint when he was away for a piss. He was knocked back from the strippers because of it

 

Aren't all bawsacks wrinkly?

 

I took a viagra in Ibiza there. Worked pretty well

 

How'd you manage to spend £750 at t in the park? Was that including the tickets, or were you just ectoed and viagrad out your skull the time?