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Sunderland fan hopes for miracle

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by holystone, Aug 18, 2011.

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  1. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    <applause>
     
    #41
    MrRAWhite, Aug 18, 2011
  2. Somebodys pinched my sombrero

    Somebodys pinched my sombrero Well-Known Member

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    My dyslexic alcoholic mate's just died. Choked on his vimto.
     
    #42
    Somebodys pinched my sombrero, Aug 18, 2011
  3. davrosFTM

    davrosFTM Member

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    I went up to this fat bird in the pub last night,

    "You're a big lass aren't you?" I said,

    "Tell me something I don't know" She replied, with a tear in her eye,

    "Salad tastes nice"
     
    #43
    davrosFTM, Aug 18, 2011
  4. davrosFTM

    davrosFTM Member

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    What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping tom?

    A pick pocket snatches watches
     
    #44
    davrosFTM, Aug 18, 2011
  5. Vilsmeier-Haack Reaction

    Vilsmeier-Haack Reaction Well-Known Member

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    Oooh, evil. Ha
     
    #45
    Vilsmeier-Haack Reaction, Aug 18, 2011
  6. davrosFTM

    davrosFTM Member

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    I met a fairy today who granted me one wish.
    "I want to live forever," I said.
    "Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."
    "Fine," I said, "I want to die when Newcastle finish higher than Sunderland."
    "You crafty ****!" said the fairy.
     
    #46
    davrosFTM, Aug 18, 2011
  7. Somebodys pinched my sombrero

    Somebodys pinched my sombrero Well-Known Member

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    Went to see the nurse today for a check up. She told me I had to stop masturbating. I said "Why". She said, "I'm trying to check your blood pressure".
     
    #47
    Somebodys pinched my sombrero, Aug 18, 2011
  8. Aldridge_Prior

    Aldridge_Prior Active Member

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    What goes "Oooooooo"?
















    A cow with no lips.
     
    #48
    Aldridge_Prior, Aug 18, 2011
  9. Darth Gogledd

    Darth Gogledd Well-Known Member

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    I was gonna say Gazza...
     
    #49
    Darth Gogledd, Aug 18, 2011
  10. baz

    baz Member

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    Why did the Jelly Baby go to School?



    To become a Smartie:emoticon-0120-doh:


    A man goes to a zoo and while watching the crocodiles drops his watch. A big croc comes along and swallows it whole. The man finds a zookeeper who says he can get the watch back. The zookeeper jumps into the croc's enclosure,wrestles it to the floor and sticks his hand in the crocs mouth. Incredibly he pulls out the man's watch and hands it back to him. Stunned the man asks the zookeeper why the crocodile didn't bite his arm off. He shows the man his arm it says :

    Newcastle Utd - Best team in the North East.

    'Ah' says the man,"no wonder it didn't eat your arm, no f***er could swallow that crap!!!"
     
    #50
    baz, Aug 18, 2011

  11. Gluteus Maximus 1892

    Gluteus Maximus 1892 Member

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    The best one yet.
     
    #51
    Gluteus Maximus 1892, Aug 18, 2011
  12. Billy Death

    Billy Death Guest

    What's another name for a pair of piss flaps?

    Chappaz & Joker.


    HAHAHAHA, pmsl.

    Bloody fudge packers.
     
    #52
    Billy Death, Aug 19, 2011
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