Off Topic Sunday morning, Ask Tel thread

I know this may be against the rules of the thread @Safc83 but, I know you like your birds with short hair, what do you make of Amber Rose?

 

I like them to be short and styled.

Not a skinhead.

 

Like this

 

Tel is it true you are a glory seeker.
And you used to support the bin dippers in the 80s.

 

Tel, I was told the answer to everything is 42.

But I don't think it is. For example it doesn't help me with choosing between Rose's Lime Marmalade or strawberry jam on my toast.

How should I deal with this paradoxical situation?

 

I prefere the lime

 

Get out.

42

 

If you could have the privilege of (aka had to) having any three current Sunderland players in the United starting line up who would you pick?

Cattermole obviously but that's a given so the next three.

 

Kirchhoff, Kone.... Defoe

Straight into the first team.

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/other-foo...arsenal-v-manchester-united-2004-5/1179799993

 

Tel, if I'm walking along the street & see a lass in tight pants, thick thighs, onion booty arse & a big cameltoe I just want to get home & have a ****.
Is this behaviour normal?

 

As long as you wait til you're home my friend.

 

Boooo we lost.

I always give my programmes away, the cleaner at my old job, his boy collected them, he's only 8/9 he'll get a shock when he's 18 and I call in his £2,000 debt

 

Tel,

In my friends house, he has 2 x 600w lights on with a 16" oscillating fan, and a further two, 9" fans. He has his bedroom window open, yet the heat is still around 88 degrees. How could he get that down another 10 degrees?

 

Dear Tel,
Lately my piles have been playing up. I bought one of the best products on the market as I was desperate for some butt-hole relief. 'So what Bri, you big fat ugly ****, do you have a problem or not?' I hear you ask. Well I'm a bit germ fussy and when I use the cream I'm left with product and sometimes a bit of poo, lodged in the detachable applicator. The cream seems oil based and repels water so having a nightmare cleaning out the applicator following use and ridding it of germs. Tel, how do you clean your applicator and when?

Kind regards
Bri(From Bri's Grape and Hop Shop)

 

At this point I'll quietly close the lid on my laptop and leave you people to it .......

 

Aye you'll be logging back on in hour though to see if there's an answer yet. I know I'm not the only one who has this problem. Those applicators are disgusting.

 

Open the fridge and freezer and anti-freeze his face

 

Cheers mate. I thought you were gunna be stupid there and tell him to use a carbon filter or some **** like that