Off Topic Strikes

What exactly is a mason?

 

They stand on one leg with their trousers rolled up & make things out of stone.
Mind they don't like catholics.

 

Somebody who gets together with a bunch of other blokes with briefcases and put party sized sausages up each other's arses and dance around a dead fox with their nobs out.

 

Hope you wash yours good , you wouldn't want to give your boyfriend an infection

Or businessmen like accountants etc who give out free advice to other members on tax etc

 

What if its a badger?

 

I know two, one works for HMRC and the other is a lawyer... you may be right.

I should tap his phone.

 

They sing to it, in German, dressed as Dierdre Barlow.

 

I tried to get in the mason's but when I asked the bloke gave me a right kick between the legs and said I was black balled

 

I have been let into a club by a mason once, I went out with a mate and before we went for a drink he had a quick bit of business first. It was a little cloak and dagger but not actually that over-the-top he just went to a particular set of "offices" )it was an office building with a bar in reception and I sat in reception at the bar for a bit. I didn't get informed what it was all about and wouldn't have thought anything of it except his fellows came down and said hello to me. I spent the entire time fretting about whether it was bad form to not show them my nipples immediately, isn't that how masons say hello?

I clarified later that it isn't how masons say hello.

 

What the hell have I done to you? Thinking I could be a mason

If I was I couldn't tell you anyway

 

My ex father-in-law was a mason. You could ask him anything about it and he'd talk for ages. Afterwards you realised you were still non the wiser!

 

Dearie me, is that the best you can do you 4 x 2?

 

Am treating you kind Grandad

 

I like the sausage bit where do i join.

 

I remember our Agricultural workers union would fight the farmers union as we had only been offered a £10 rise after 3mth we would accept £1. 20 and they would tell us how well they had done must of been the most **** Union to have ever been assembled.

 

Hell no mate.
Don't read on if its boring though ok lol.
We build mainly on Scania, Volvo, Mercedes and MAN chassis with occasional Iveco thrown in, all various wheel bases.
Mainly plastic bodies, heights, widths and flat sided or sloped bodies but do an occasional aluminium framed body.
Water tanks vary between 1200 litres up to my latest which was 16000 litres.
Locker sizes vary depending on what kit and chassis weights.
Pumps vary, Godiva have 4 different pumps that squirt out water at different pressures.
Rosenbauer have also different pump types.
Different shutter suppliers, some like MCD (French) others like Robinson shutters.
Multitude of different shelves as well, tilt and slide, fixed shelves, heavy duty shelves, vertical swing out and slide outs.
Painting, different shades of red???
Conspicuity, the shiny reflective stuff, they are all different.
Ladders, don't know where to start with how many different suppliers and types.
There were 2 brigades that had almost identical vehicles so one of them asked to have the wheel hubs painted red and white in quadrants so they could see which one was theirs despite having their names on the side of the body??
That's just a little of what we have to muddle our way through to make sure the customer gets what he wants.
Hope you haven't fallen asleep

 

Not at all mate. Its interesting even though it seems petty at times.