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SOT - Man Utd vs Liverpool Alternative Commentary

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Jan 13, 2013.

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  1. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    They seem to really like Suarez
     
    #21
    Warmir Pouchov, Jan 13, 2013
  2. Santiago Munez

    Santiago Munez Well-Known Member

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    Joe Allen is about as exciting as buying a packet of football stickers and then getting Joe Allen inside it
     
    #22
    Santiago Munez, Jan 13, 2013
  3. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    33rd minute: More suicidal passing here... Maybe I should tell them I was happy with one goal? Nah, after yesterday I deserve a few more! Joe Allen this time with the through pass for Welbeck... Shot blocked though. And he gets another shot later, hammering it over...
     
    #23
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Jan 13, 2013
  4. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    39th minute: Accidental PUN!!! SkySports commentator says "Downing dispossessed Cleverly". Yep, that's where we're at with this game...

    Gerrard makes another strange back pass which forces Reina to dash from his goal and hoof it at a Man Utd fan I presume had been giving him stick #irrationalhatred
     
    #24
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Jan 13, 2013
  5. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    Suarez and RVP would be both dreamy football wise, and rate highly on the most hated partnerships scale.
     
    #25
    Warmir Pouchov, Jan 13, 2013
  6. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    40th minute: Liverpool haven't been so obviously determined to concede goals in the last few minutes, must have put a bet on the minutes a goal would be scored, so Man Utd are obliged to create something themselves, and a nice little move ends in Cleverly poking the ball wide.
     
    #26
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Jan 13, 2013
  7. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    44th minute: Van Persie misses a chance! The better Da Silva twin gets behind Johnson after a brilliant pass from wor Carrick, but Van Perise elects to take the piss and backheels it at the keeper, before Shinji Kagawa hoofs Reina in the direction of the net... You can understand the confusion, his kit is the same colour as the ball... Same with me looking at their outfield players and thinking they're **** <whistle>
     
    #27
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Jan 13, 2013
  8. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    49th minute: Johnson had the perfect opportunity to make another appalling back pass and instead turns on his heels and beats the man. Disgusting play <grr>:emoticon-0181-fubar

    Half-time 1-0. Fergie has never lost a game his side were winning at half-time, and he joined Man Utd in 1986 #ruthless
     
    #28
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Jan 13, 2013
  9. Katmandu

    Katmandu New Member

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    Over their eyes? wtf is the point in going?
     
    #29
    Katmandu, Jan 13, 2013
  10. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    They've got so many match-winners, he barely needs Webb these days to be fair... Atkinson, Clattenberg, Dowd to name a few <whistle>
     
    #30
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Jan 13, 2013

  11. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    <laugh> I think there's clearly been some agreement before the game regarding playing women. Each side has a number of dicks and a couple of ****s <ok>
     
    #31
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Jan 13, 2013
  12. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    Second-half kicks off: Fresh from Fergie's half time hypnosis, Webb signals the start of the second half. De Gea bossed that half-time period, sensational goalkeeping. Sure he dropped a few orange segments and fumbled the drinks, but he's new to this dressing room. It's different to the Spanish dressing rooms he's used to.
     
    #32
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Jan 13, 2013
  13. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    46th minute: Sturridge is on by the way. Sky commentators insisting the extra room in midfield will give Man Utd more opportunities... I'm not so sure, less Liverpool midfielders making dangerous pass-backs has got to be a good thing.

    Webb gives Man Utd a free-kick 30 yards out. After a brief spell of thinking he's a chicken, he plucks up the courage to march the Liverpool wall back. Fergie shouts instruction #hen-pecked

    Van Persie fires it over though
     
    #33
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Jan 13, 2013
  14. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    52nd minute: Liverpool getting more into the game now... Forward passing eh? Who knew right? Well Wisdom is sent through, but slips on his arse as he swings an agricultural foot at it.
     
    #34
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Jan 13, 2013
  15. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    53 minutes: GOALL EVRA
     
    #35
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Jan 13, 2013
  16. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    53 minutes: Ok, which penis has clapped three times and shouted "minty"? Webb's clearly snapped out of it, giving a yellow to Skrtel who's all over the back of the Man Utd player who would be straight through. From the free-kick it's swung in and Evra heads at goal, bumping off Vidic's face on the way in.
     
    #36
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Jan 13, 2013
  17. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    56th minute: STURRIDGE 1-2!!!!
     
    #37
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Jan 13, 2013
  18. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    56th minute: Gerrard has a shot from the edge of the area, *cough* De Gea knocks into the danger area from his save <doh> *cough* and Sturridge finishes easily. Game on #****sakefantasyfootballpoints<wah>
     
    #38
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Jan 13, 2013
  19. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    60th minute: *click*, and he's back under. Gerrard's slight bump fells Van Persie and Webb blows immediately. That horse wouldn't survive the grand national... Anyway, Van Persie with the free-kick, Reina gathers and hoofs it away, then looks slightly sheepishly towards the manager's dugout... DAMMIT PEPE SIDEWAYS ONLY!!!!
     
    #39
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Jan 13, 2013
  20. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    63rd minute: Kagawa forces a save from route-one Reina, and from the corner Wisdom and Vidic are crying on the floor... They collided in mid-air and were simultaneously punched by Pepe. He should just leave this clearing malark to his players like the wonderful De Gea. Anyway, Fergie decides it's too controversial to give a penalty there, even for him, so Webb gives Liverpool the kick.
     
    #40
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Jan 13, 2013
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