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Some Fun For a Friday Afternoon

Discussion in 'Watford' started by wear_yellow, Apr 8, 2011.

Page 64 of 246
  1. Resurgam

    Resurgam Top Analyst
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    Q: What do you call a pig with 3 eyes?

    A: pIIIg


    <It's ok, I'll get my coat and shut the door on the way out....>
     
    #1261
    Resurgam, May 25, 2013
  2. wear_yellow

    wear_yellow Well-Known Member

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    Why are there no telephones in China?

    Because there are so many Wings and so many Wongs - they will all Wing the Wong number!
     
    #1262
    wear_yellow, May 25, 2013
  3. canary-dave

    canary-dave Well-Known Member

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    Talking of wings, can anybody tell me, does a chicken have lips?
     
    #1263
    canary-dave, May 25, 2013
  4. Golden Gordon

    Golden Gordon Well-Known Member

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    Ok, ok, I don't know C-D, does a chicken have lips?
     
    #1264
    Golden Gordon, May 25, 2013
  5. canary-dave

    canary-dave Well-Known Member

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    Well if fish can have fingers why couldn't a chicken have lips?

    ;)
     
    #1265
    canary-dave, May 25, 2013
  6. Golden Gordon

    Golden Gordon Well-Known Member

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    Hmmm. Well, Mr Canary, that'll be all for now. We'll be in touch should we want to call you back for a second audition.
     
    #1266
    Golden Gordon, May 25, 2013
  7. Leo

    Leo Well-Known Member

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    As this is supposed to be a joke board I will post my reply to you on the politics thread if and when I can be bothered
     
    #1267
    Leo, May 25, 2013
  8. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    <doh>.
     
    #1268
    Toby, May 25, 2013
  9. Resurgam

    Resurgam Top Analyst
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    Did you hear about the fight in the biscuit tin?

    The bandit hit the penguin over the head with a club and made his breakaway in a taxi





    <taxi>
     
    #1269
    Resurgam, May 25, 2013
  10. Hornet-Fez

    Hornet-Fez Well-Known Member

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    Ask Sergio.... <whistle>
     
    #1270
    Hornet-Fez, May 25, 2013

  11. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    Such are the advancements in technology - when I first heard that, the taxi was a wagon wheel.

    Makes me feel old. :(
     
    #1271
    Bolton's Boots, May 25, 2013
  12. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    When a chemist dies, do they barium?
     
    #1272
    Bolton's Boots, May 30, 2013
  13. Hornet-Fez

    Hornet-Fez Well-Known Member

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    and when the undertaker died it wasn't the cough that carried him off but the coffin they carried him off in....
     
    #1273
    Hornet-Fez, May 30, 2013
  14. Resurgam

    Resurgam Top Analyst
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    Did you hear about the schizophrenic vicar and his alter ego?
     
    #1274
    Resurgam, May 30, 2013
  15. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
     
    #1275
    Bolton's Boots, May 30, 2013
  16. Resurgam

    Resurgam Top Analyst
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    I went for a swim in the river when I was in Paris. They said I was insane
     
    #1276
    Resurgam, May 30, 2013
  17. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    I'm currently reading a book about anti-gravity - just can't put it down.
     
    #1277
    Bolton's Boots, May 31, 2013
  18. canary-dave

    canary-dave Well-Known Member

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    My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 57 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 22-year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset&#8212;I shall be home before midnight.

    When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:

    My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 57 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 57 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 22 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference: 22 goes into 57 a lot more times than 57 goes into 22. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
     
    #1278
    canary-dave, May 31, 2013
  19. Hornet-Fez

    Hornet-Fez Well-Known Member

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    A dyslexic pimp bought himself a warehouse... and went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
     
    #1279
    Hornet-Fez, May 31, 2013
  20. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    Who discovered America? Well, the Indians got there first but they soon had reservations about the place.
     
    #1280
    Bolton's Boots, May 31, 2013
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