A farmer is no longer making enough money and wants to start up a new venture and decides he will manufacture cheese. So he goes to his bank manager to ask for a loan. The bank manager explains he will have to have a business plan. So he goes away and comes back and the bank manager asks what this plan is. Ah says the farmer - I am going to make a cheese and incorporate red fruit in it and call it Red Worcester. No, no says the bank manager there is already a Red Leicester you need something more unique. So the farmer goes away and thinks about it and comes back and says my plan is to import cheese from Europe and sell it as Euro-cheese. No no says the bank manager - Europe is not at all popular that won't work at all. A bit depressed the farmer decides to go away to try to find inspiration and travels around and visits the Holy Land where he prays for an idea. Eventually he has a brainwave and rushes home to visit his bank manager and declares - I have it - I will import different cheese from all over Israel and call them Cheeses of Nazareth.
Some more Thomas Cook guests' complaints: A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room. "The beach was too sandy." "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white." A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time. "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women." "We bought' Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (ã3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."
Q. What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex? A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Q. Which is the odd one out: a woman, a microwave or a fridge? A. The microwave, the other two leak when they’re ****ed.
Q. What’s the difference between sin and shame? A. It is a sin to put it in, but it’s a shame to pull it out.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his ca I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Politicians and nappies have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
