Did you see the person who sent ten puns to each of his friends hoping that at least one of the puns would make them laugh - No pun in ten did
Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused Novacaine during root canal work. Why? To transcend dental medication
Coming to a cinema near you Leo...... The Welsh film industry is to receive additional funding to step up production. They are going to remake many well known films, but this time with a Welsh flavour. The following are planned for release ... * 9ý Leeks * Trefforest Gump * Cwmando * The Lost Boyos * An American Werewolf in Powys * Huw Dares Gwyns * Dai Hard * The Wizard of Oswestry * Cool Hand Look-you * Sheepless in Seattle * The Eagle has Llandudno * The Magnificent Severn * Haverfordwest Was Won * Austin Powys * The Magic Rhonddabout * Independence Dai * The Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch that time forgot. * Welsh Connection * The Bridge on the River Wye * Lawrence of Llandybie * The Welsh Patient * The Sheepshag Redemption * Breakfast at Taffynys * Look Back in Bangor * Evans Can Wait * A Fishguard Called Rhondda * Where Eagles Aberdare * Dial M For Merthyr
And one for NZHorn...... Melbourne Zoo had acquired a female of a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the Zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The Gorilla was on heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available. While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Rick, a big Kiwi lad & former All Black, responsible for fixing the Zoo's machinery. Rick, like most Kiwis, seemed to be possessed with ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. So the Zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Rick was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500? Rick showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions: 'Fust,' he said, 'I don't want to have to kuss er.' 'Sicondly, you must niver niver tull anyone about thus.' The Zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what his third condition was. 'Wull,' said Rick, 'You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500.....'
Good one BB. It is people like Rick who prove the former PM, Robert Muldoon's contention that Kiwi migration to Australia raises the average IQ of both countries
BB- there's brilliant look you - some very clever ones Funnily enough NZ - it has always been said the English going to Scotland has the same effect
A man went into a pet shop and asked for a goldfish. "Would you like an aquarium?" asked the shopkeeper. The man said, "I'm not bothered about its birth sign."
Some John Eustace jokes in the 'Chuck Norris' genre. *There's no such thing as global warming - John Eustace was cold so he turned the sun up; *John Eastace doesn't wear a watch - he decides what time it is; *John Eustace destroyed the Periodic Table - because he only recognises the element of suprise. *John Eustace doesn't wear a condom - because there is no such thing as protection from John Eustace. *There is no theory of evolution - just a list of creatures John Eustace has allowed to live.
For the scientists amongst us (there must be one): 2 hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron" The other asks if he is sure and he replies " Yes, I'm positive"
My husband has been missing for a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all his clothes back.
Two Eskimos in a canoe are very cold so light a fire - - boat sinks which proves you can't have your Kayak and Heat it
A Russian spy was dropped by parachute in the Welsh hills with instructions to contact a Mr. Jones who lived in the small village of Llanfair, and give him the code message "the tulips are blooming well today." Arriving at the village he asked a small boy where Mr. Jones lived and was directed to a small cottage at the end of the village. He knocked on the door and the owner emerged. "Are you Mr. Jones?" "I am." "The tulips are blooming well today." Mr. Jones stared at him in amazement and then smiled. "Ah, you must have come to the wrong house. It's Jones-the-spy you want."
If you ever wondered where all the Davies's come from, there's a big factory outside Bridgend with a sign outside saying "Davies Manufacturing Co. Ltd.
One old Welsh family in Llandovery is very proud of its pedigree that covers five large skins of parchment. In the middle of the third page is a note in the margin "About this time the world was created."
