Have I Got News For You As Covid cases rise by 65%, the government is praised for its swift action to stop people mixing on public transport.
I once paid £150 because i mistakenly put my wife's maiden name on the ticket! Spare a thought for poor ole Michael O’Leary, Chief Executive of Ryanair. After arriving in a hotel in Manchester, he went to the bar and asked for a pint of Guinness. The barman nodded and said, "That will be £1 please, Mr. O’Leary." Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money. "Well, we do try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday from 6 pm until 8 pm. We have the cheapest beer in England". "That is remarkable value", Michael comments. "I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours. That will be £3 please." O'Leary scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat. "Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra £2. You could have pre-booked the seat, and it would have only cost you £1." "I think you may be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please". Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in, he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame". "I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of £4 for your seat sir". O'Leary swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another £3." O'Leary was so incensed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager". "I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be £2 please." O'Leary's face was red with rage. "Do you know who I am?" "Of course I do Mr. O'Leary." "I've had enough! What sort of a Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!" "Here is his e-mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9.00 am and 9.01am every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only £1 per second, or part thereof". "I will never use this bar again". "OK sir, but do remember, we are the only hotel in England selling pints for £1."
The one with the glasses is John Lennon. The other one owns various governments around the world - UK, USA, Australia...
Think Fox News, Sky News, News Corp, The Sun, The Times - Australian born 71st richest man in the planet...
please log in to view this image After signing Richarlison for £60 million, Tottenham make the necessary changes to their stadium:
Pretty much. I dare say referring to Sunak and Javed who seem finally to have had their consciences pricked. That it took a prick not with a pin but a rapier like thrust stands them in no good stead either. Can't see how dePiffle will survive this, nor the party... and frankly I don't f*****g care!
please log in to view this image “I can no longer, in good conscience, live with this Prime Minister. Either he goes, or I do”
The Twitter wags are out in force... please log in to view this image please log in to view this image
