The Thirteen Commandments for Seniors 1 – Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice. 2 - "In Style" are the clothes that still fit. 3 – You don't need anger management. You need people to stop irritating you. 4 – Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work. 5 – The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it." 6 - "On time" is when you get there. 7 – Even duct tape can't fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound. 8 – It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free...and three sizes smaller. 9 – Lately, you've noticed people your age are so much older than you. 10 – Growing old should have taken longer. 11 – Ageing has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up. 12 – You still haven't learned to act your age and hope you never will. And one more 13 - One for the road" means peeing before you leave the house.
You obviously haven't read / seen The Green Mile! (well, of course you have... surely everyone here has?)
MPs accused of not taking the cost-of-living crisis seriously after Michael Fabricant wastes £5 worth of spaghetti: please log in to view this image
The story of Brad - a modern human tragedy. Brad lives in London. He was sick of the world, of Covid-19, Russian aggression, Global warming logic, species extinction, racial tension, and all the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy the media headlines. Deciding to end it all, Brad drove his car into his garage at home, carefully sealed up around the windows and doorways of his garage, selected his favourite radio station and sat in the driver's seat, leaving the engine idling. Two days later, his neighbour, realising she had seen no sign of him for a while, peered through the garage window to see Brad at the wheel of his car. Fearing the worst, she immediately phoned emergency services. Police, fire and the ambulance all arrived promptly at the scene. Amazingly, after being pulled from his car and having a few sips of water, Brad seemed to be as good as gold. Brad drives a Tesla. It now has a flat battery.