Some Fun For a Friday Afternoon

Toughest job I ever had? Selling doors, door-to-door.

 

The guy who invented the wheel was an idiot. The other who invented the other three? He was the genius.

 

Jokes about white sugar are rare. Jokes about brown sugar, Demerara.

 

If you don’t know what Morris dancing is, imagine eight guys from the KKK got lost, ended up at gay pride and just tried to style it out.

 

My sister’s boyfriend has a heart tattooed on his bicep with the word ‘Grandad’ in it. It looks good now, sure, but one day he’ll just look like a very arrogant grandad.

 

I’m selling my old tennis equipment but I can’t work out what’s the net worth.

 

I'm no good at tennis, I'm too highly strung.

 

Bill Bailey’s view of pop music:

“There’s more evil in the charts than in an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.”

 

“My grandfather invented the cold air balloon. It never really took off.”

Milton Jones

 

"Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job - knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day."

Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

 

A man tells his doctor, “Help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I’m not following you.”

 

I reckon my mate's having an affair with my wife. He's been right miserable recently.

 

Hello, Cornish. I like that one. Bit ‘naughty’, but clever and funny.

We’re in Mevagissey at the mo’. Are you North or South Cornwall? We have a Cornish friend in Herts and we were saying how it must be tough to leave Cornwall and live elsewhere. The geography is pretty unique really. So beautiful.

 

We love it down there. Regular B+B in St. Austell and buy a train/ bus pass for the week. We were there at Easter. Charlestown is our favourite.

 

Just Googled that. Looks beautiful. Is it a sandy beach or stones? How busy is it?

 

It is more of a harbour. The beach, such as it is is sandy. Carlyon Bay is nearby (about five minutes by car) and that's lovely, but it's a bit of a hike to walk it - it is Cornwall! It can get busy in Charlestown but there are plenty of things to do: the Heritage Shipwreck Centre; there are living history shows at the docks - there should be tall ships in; there are three pubs - the Rashleigh Arms at the top of the hill, The Harbourside and the Pier House Hotel. All three do food, the Harbouside being more of the "locals" pub with Sky Sports, bands, pool etc. Last visit we arraived at the Rashleigh Arms with the intention of a "crawl" and stayed there for 8 hours, eating two meals!

Fowey is great too. Take the harbour tour and eat in the The Lugger - the moules marinaire / fishermans stew is to die for! The bus runs from Mevagissey to Fowey via St. Austell. Not a lot in St. Austell these days, suffering a bit alas.

Enjoy!

 

And do visit The Lost Gardens of Heligan, The Eden Project and especially https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/lanhydrock which is our favourite National Trust site by some distance... an absolute MUST for all the family.

 

On booting up my PC this morning I was greeted by the usual pretty welcome picture supplied by Microsoft with the caption
"Did some intrepid alpine climber make an arduous trek to capture this image?"

 

And the climber finally looked down the next day from the top of the Aiguille du Midi and saw this.

 

I have just bought an amphibious pet

I call him Tiny because he is my newt