Scotch Independence - the countdown

I meant his psychiatric ward but realised after it could mean electoral ward lolz.

 

To be fair, the micro celebs have always been a feature. They are usually herded into the temporary boxes beyond the Guiness Village, 3f from the finish.

Recently the photographers positioned in the middle of the track have start scanning the boxes with telecopic lenses, looking for footballers pissing into glasses and soap actresses getting their thruppenies out. So they are all over the tabloids, which is probably what they want. But Cheltenham hasn't really changed. There were rumours of a crackdown on drunkeness but I didn't see any evidence of that being enforced. In fact I can safely say that excessive consumption of alcohol is still actively encouraged

 

Maybe Aldo will give you his vote.

 

Crackdown on alcohol consumption

 

*parish

 

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NATIONALIST GLOSSARY

For those who may need to understand the First Minister's Mind Set.

Once in a generation = Every few years until it goes our way.

On the cusp of the next oil boom = … When measured in light years.

What’s best for Scotland = Doing what I’ve devoted my entire political life to at the first opportunity.

At a time that’s right for us = Hang on, we haven’t really worked that out yet, when’s Braveheart on the TV again?

Leaves me no option but to call a second referendum = Just the excuse I’ve been needing. Ya dancer!

Democratic will of the Scottish people = The 2016 one, not the 2014 one obviously.

Hard Tory Brexit = Democratic will of the British people.

Positive case for independence = Unicorns, free Castrol GTX and sweetie-filled rainbows for all!

New case for independence = Don't tell anyone but its the same flawed case, my supporters will not notice.

Voice for Scotland = Thinly veiled hatred of the English.

Invigorating people’s interest in politics = Cybernats scouring the Internet to shout down pro-Union opinions.

Sound economic plan = We paid a former RBS economist to contradict every other economist ever.

Vigorously argue our case = Shout down treacherous unionists, call them unpatriotic, and vandalise pro-union signs and cars… again.

Listening exercise = Talking exercise.

Independence White Paper = Tomorrow’s Andrex.

First Minister for All of Scotland = Fuhrer to the faithful, dictator to everyone else.

Economic levers = High tax.

Fairer society = High tax, high welfare.

Balanced economy = High tax, high borrowing.

Growth economy = High tax, high spending.

Sustainable economy = I get paid regardless, yuss!

Full range of Economic levers = More tax-raising powers in addition to the ones we’re already not using.

People of Scotland = "the Party" members.

All of Scotland = The built-up areas of the Central Belt.

Proud Europeans = I holiday in Portugal instead of Scotland.

Ambitious vision for Scotland = We just effectively replaced a two lane Forth Road Bridge with another 2 lane Forth Road Bridge.

Fiscal Responsibility = … but we’re going to pay to keep the old bridge open for virtually no traffic.

7th richest nation in the world = Did I just say that out loud?

Open, inclusive country = So long as you exclude football, religion and politics, we’re a very friendly monoculture.

Welcoming the downtrodden people of Syria = Stick ‘em on the Isle of Bute, job done.

 

^^^^didn't read lol

 

I read some of them, but not all of them

 

*brakes

 

ffs some **** should get fired for writing "breaks" or did you photoshop it?

 

Kwality reporting.

 

It's the record ffs

 

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/politics/no-indyref2-until-2020-theresa-10038454

 

Ponders revealed
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/you-fg-jock-cs-englishman-10033610

 

I think his Mic is broken ... keeps cutting out .

 

That's makes sense ...

Wait to see what leaving the EU means in real terms ...

Then , if SNP win a majority in 2021, have a new vote for independence.

 

Am no waiting 2 generations

 

*non voter.

Do you even know what i didn't bother voting for or against you spastic?

 

'Hint'

It wasn't anything to do with the X Factor Kevin.