I once went for a poo under the table in a restaurant.
Story.
What a rollercoaster of a read that was.
I hear Kristen Stewart is playing the restaurant in the film adaptation.
I once went for a poo under the table in a restaurant.
Story.
Too vague. I would like to know the details of the story. Was it solid? Did it hurt? Was it unexpected?
Most importantly, what happened next?![]()
What a rollercoaster of a read that was.
I hear Kristen Stewart is playing the restaurant in the film adaptation.
I once went for a poo under the table in a restaurant.
Story.
It was in France. I had not long turned 3 years old, I shimmied off my chair under the table, my mother poked her head under to see what I was doing and much to her amazement, found me squatting down and curling off a reeking diarrhoea that apparently looked identical to a lump of cottage cheese. On the basis of that, I can guess that
It was not solid
It did not hurt
It was unexpected
What I do remember, is that afterwards when the stench started to travel around the restaurant, the owner came over to find what it was. After discovering my cottage cheese, I vividly remember him calling me an "English pig" and slapping me so hard in the face he knocked two of my milk teeth out. We immediately returned to our accomodation and reported it to the French police. They came round, asked what happened, went to the restaurant then returned an hour or two later.
The allegation that the owner had punched me was apparently "idiot nonsense as you espect from an Englishman", as only one other English family had witnessed the incident, the rest of the French guests went along with the owners story that I had tripped and fell on my face. Instead, the French police were far more interested in charging my parents a whopping great fine for letting me poo in a public restaurant.
The end.
If I get to go in Kristen Stewart I'm going to audition to play myself.
I've been to France a lot. My guess is they still haven't cleaned it up.
It was in France. I had not long turned 3 years old, I shimmied off my chair under the table, my mother poked her head under to see what I was doing and much to her amazement, found me squatting down and curling off a reeking diarrhoea that apparently looked identical to a lump of cottage cheese. On the basis of that, I can guess that
It was not solid
It did not hurt
It was unexpected
What I do remember, is that afterwards when the stench started to travel around the restaurant, the owner came over to find what it was. After discovering my cottage cheese, I vividly remember him calling me an "English pig" and slapping me so hard in the face he knocked two of my milk teeth out. We immediately returned to our accomodation and reported it to the French police. They came round, asked what happened, went to the restaurant then returned an hour or two later.
The allegation that the owner had punched me was apparently "idiot nonsense as you espect from an Englishman", as only one other English family had witnessed the incident, the rest of the French guests went along with the owners story that I had tripped and fell on my face. Instead, the French police were far more interested in charging my parents a whopping great fine for letting me poo in a public restaurant.
The end.
Got some funny looks too.... totally inappropriate xenophobic stereotyping ... not only is that misleading it also conveniently ignores the obvious origins of ripe camembert ...
Can't see us spending cash for Kasper to watch Schwarzer.
Can't see Schwarzer sitting on the bench watching Kasper.
One or the other.
Not both.