They are ****ers. When we sold our last house the agent said "your house will sell itself". I asked why I was paying him 1% then. ****ers.
In general, anyone driving a car too big for them to handle. If you can't handle a people carrier, buy a ****ing smart car and get out of the way. Also ****ing imbeciles with no understanding of angles or spatial recognition. Not just parking, but also sitting behind someone waiting to turn right when they have clearly left a gap big enough for a double decker bus to fit by them on the left. And for that matter, people who are waiting to turn right but still sitting too close to the left hand side of the road and thus making it impossible for anyone to get past on the left. Finally the twats who park part way across the lines in car parks, thus taking up part of the space next to them. If I see anyone who has done this on the driver's side I will deliberately park close enough to their driver's door that they can only open it the merest crack. I will then find a convenient vantage point and wait to watch the fat ****er (they are usually fat ****ers) trying to squeeze their lardy arse into their door and out of the problem they created.
Anyone sitting at a two lane traffic lights who only put their indicator on to turn right after the light goes green. You ****. When this happens feel a great desire to push up close, touch bumpers, and push them out of the way into on coming traffic. That will show you, ****wit. Or, in another right turn traffic light twist, the ones who where there is a right turn filter arrow do not cross the line in order to trigger said filter, but dutifully sit behind the line wating for an arrow that will never go green. Quick undertake and flashing of the fingers later and the traffic is relieved by competent driver behind. How, in the name of ****, do these people get given driving licences? I could just add, in both cases it is 90% always a female. The other 10% being an immigrant of some sort who probably has no licence anyway. (I'll save you the bother, racist!!!)
Right you ****s I take exception with the dispersions aimed at estate agents.. Rhc I assume when you were married that was prior to 1991 and prior to the property misdescriptions act.. As you can't make **** up about houses or there location anymore.. In fact quite a few agents have been prosecuted in recent years for omitting adding if the house has an A road in the back garden. NOF : try selling your house yourself. Stick a banner or sign outside saying for sale by owner.. Which translates as I'm a tight ****, I know nothing about houses, my house is more than likely far too much money and probably **** yet i think its the best one in the street as norma from No 30 sold hers for 320k in 2006 and mine is definitely better.. and I will fall out with you when you try and buy my house for its true value. If you are lucky enough to find a buyer by pure chance, highly unlikely; enjoy all the **** you have thrown at you by the buyers everyone else in the chain constant calls from angry people finding out what's going on.. ******ed ****s see the price of everything and the value of nothing. Most countries pay professional estate agents 3-5% if I had my way we'd all charge the same here.
Am fortunate enough to have never seen one of them. Maybe it's a Welsh thing? My wife's a female immigrant, and I am proud to say I've taught her to never do any of the above. She's also as chauvinist as we are - whenever she hears me complaining about another driver she says "it's probably a woman". And is usually right. I love it when women know their limits [video=facebook;10151934607065276]http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10151934607065276[/video]
Alternatively, get a couple of estate agents to give you no obligation valuations, then ask them to be straight with you about what they think the house will actually sell for. Then split the difference, stick in on RightMove yourself and it's happy days. Worked for me. Sorry sweats... P.S. I have it on good authority that RHC was last married in the 1960s...
The problem with that is that you're unlikely to have gained the best price. As a professional agent is able to understand their buyers requirements and offer them things they might not normally have considered thusly increasing the level of interest creating competition between buyers which drives up your price. There is also the fact that buyers are quite often stupid and tell me everything about their finances so I know and advise clients whether they're likely to get more money out of them. I could dig out statistics as to how much you're likely to have lost by selling your house yourself. They're quite stark how much you actually lose. How much did you pay to advertise it on rightmove?? The main problem with estate agents is all the big corporates employ spotty Herbert's who don't know what they're doing and give us all a bad name. Good example of a private seller.. I saw a for sale by owner sign.. Rang him. He'd had an offer of 185k but was trying to sell it for 220k which was too high by twenty grand. He put it with me for 210k took a while to sell and be was going to go back to the original bloke who still wanted it then I sold it for 195k extra 10k for not being a tight stubborn twat.
I was kidding. I don't hate estate agents. Some of my best friends are estate agents. Apparently one of my great grandfathers was an estate agent or he knew one or something like that. Where I come from it's a term of endearment to call an estate agent a ****er.
I only know how to do a Windsor knot.. I honestly don't know how to do a tie normally. Estate agency is a fine profession
I agree you can probably get a better price through an agent, although that does depend on the agent. Whilst agents can drum up interest, they don't always have the same interest in getting the best price, particularly if they have an offer and it would take a lot of effort to get a higher one. If you're on 1% commission then the incentive to try and get an extra £10 grand for the client, and thus earn yourself the grand sum of £100, is often pretty low. Can you honestly say that if you'd been marketing that bloke's property from the start, and he'd had an offer of £185k and that was all he'd had for a month or two you'd still be telling him he could get closer to £200k and would be spending ages trying to market the property just for the extra £100? If you honestly would then you're in the minority - stats do show that uninformed sellers can lose out, but they also show that estate agents tend to sell their own houses for a lot more on average than they sell comparable houses for commission. Also worth noting that if that offer for £195k hadn't come through, and the bloke had been forced to go back to the original offer, he'd still have had to pay you commission under the terms of your contract. You could choose to waive that, but again you'd be in the minority - most agents will do all they can to grab commission any way they can and give the whole profession a bad name. Also debatable whether he could have gotten the offer of £195k himself simply by leaving it on Rightmove with the sign out for a few months. I know some estate agents are decent and straight up, and I've dealt with a few over time, but when you're trying to sell it's often hit and miss who you get. If you get a ****ty agent you will almost certainly lose out, and worse by the time you find out they're ****ty you're locked into an exclusive contract and they won't give a **** as they know there's no competition. You have to pay to advertise on rightmove etc, but you can get the advert placed with photos etc for around £200. Wasn't actually my house, but I helped one of my neighbours take photos for them with my camera and they sold their house for the asking price on the first viewing, for the same amount one of our other neighbours sold a near identical house for about a month earlier.
