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No comment re: the Manure result from HAIG? I guess a taxi to the clinic was necessary somewhere between the second and third goal and when the fourth went in they decided to keep him in over night as a precaution.

Yes, dear God! Just been released from the cock clinic! Surgeons slaved for several hours to sew it back on, and I'm now waiting for the stitches to heal and for the broken ribs to mend.

Please, United, stop doing this to me!
 
It just goes to prove that many a true word is spoken in wum.

(Although, I would again ask posters to respect the sincerity and seriousness of this thread, and to please refrain from wumming. Thank you.)
 
Yes, dear God! Just been released from the cock clinic! Surgeons slaved for several hours to sew it back on, and I'm now waiting for the stitches to heal and for the broken ribs to mend.

Please, United, stop doing this to me!

For the sake of your stitches, let's hope Besiktas don't win tonight <whistle>
 
Everyone's getting on Van Gaal's back over United's 4-0 thrashing at the hands of lowly MK Dons, yet not a word is breathed about 'Pool's humbling at the hands of non-entity side, Brentford Town, at Klanfield, under "King" Kenny. Remember that, anyone? Didn't do Kenny-boy any harm did it...?

Oh, wait! That's right, he got sacked!
 
I hope they didn't sew it on upside down! That could be hard to explain to the ladies.

Don't worry, MSHO, this is always happening to me. So much so, that the clinic has a bed reserved for me.

I'll probably be admitted again, after the coming weekend's game.
 
I know Alan curbishley reputation was dented by that issue he had with West Ham but he should be in management.

Definitely. He's got to be a better option than someone like Hockaday at Leeds (who?) or some of the endless failures that seem to rotate into and out of jobs constantly.
 
SAF was a big factor, but not in the way you suggest. LVG is a forceful personaity too so the explanation that refs fear one, but not the other, doesn't hold water.

SAF played a system which was tried and tested and was familar to the players. His last team, whilst not vintage did include Evra, Vidic, Carrick & RVP, when all were fit and firing - he even had Scholes and Giggs still contributing. They are some of the best players to grace to the PL in the last 10 years. LVG has lost experienced players, has nine injuries in the squad, has had to play very inexperienced young players and has tried to introduce a system of play which is completely to all but RVP. Initially, in pre-season, it looked as if the players would adapt quickly to 3-5-2, but in competitive games it is proving much harder to grasp. But nobody would abandon any plan after two weeks of the season unless they were very unsure of themselves - which LVG clearly isn't. If a regular first XI is de Gea - Evans, Jones, Rojo - Valencia/Rafael, di Maria, Carrick, Herrera, Shaw - Rooney, RVP with Mata, Januzaj, Smalling, Fletcher, Welbeck, Hernandez, Young and others in reserve, then there should be enough quality to come good. This team may not be good enough to win the title at present, as City and Chelsea are clearly stronger, but that applies to Everton too, for example, yet they are perceived to be doing fine.

I still see all the real talent are strikers or #10s: RVP, Rooney, Di Maria, Mata. I'm not at all convinced by Evans, Jones or Herrera. Valencia/Rafael and Shaw are decent wide players, but I think you need at least one star, one Robben or Bale, to make it work. If anything, I thought Janusaj was a better bet.

However: because someone gets off to a comically bad start doesn't mean he's done. I would think this team would turn into a good one playing a 4-2-3-1. The only reason Van Gaal doesn't switch is that he's convinced the 3-5-2 will work better, eventually, and he certainly knows a thing or two about football.

He would also help himself while annoying the **** out of me by learning how to send PL ref's mannish parts shooting up into their internal cavities like Fergie or Mourinho.
 
On TalkShite, today, Zaha recounted a story from his United days, when how, after scoring two goals, Fergie tore him off a strip for missing a further two sitters. Apparently, Fergie told him that United players don't miss opportunities like that.

You've got to admire the bloke, that he wouldn't let players become smug. What would Fergie have done with those who took part in last night's shambles?
 
I still see all the real talent are strikers or #10s: RVP, Rooney, Di Maria, Mata. I'm not at all convinced by Evans, Jones or Herrera. Valencia/Rafael and Shaw are decent wide players, but I think you need at least one star, one Robben or Bale, to make it work. If anything, I thought Janusaj was a better bet.

However: because someone gets off to a comically bad start doesn't mean he's done. I would think this team would turn into a good one playing a 4-2-3-1. The only reason Van Gaal doesn't switch is that he's convinced the 3-5-2 will work better, eventually, and he certainly knows a thing or two about football.

He would also help himself while annoying the s**t out of me by learning how to send PL ref's mannish parts shooting up into their internal cavities like Fergie or Mourinho.

These players should be better suited to 4-4-2, 4-4-1-1 or 4-2-3-1

de Gea; Rafael-Jones-Rojo-Shaw; Carrick-Herrera; Rooney, Mata, di Maria; RVP looks balanced,

I like Warnock. He's always good for a laugh. Has now managed:

Gainsborough
Burton
Scarborough
Notts County
Torquay
Huddersfield
Plymouth
Oldham
Bury
Sheffield Utd
Crystal Palace
QPR
Leeds Utd
Crystal Palace (again)

He also played for 8 clubs in a 12 year playing career.

Has Parish dared to give him longer than a 12 month contract?
 
Arsenal are looking to fill the injured Olivier Giroud's boots with 33-year-old Nikola Zigic, formerly of Birmingham but who's currently without a club.
Sounds like crap, but his agent appears to have confirmed it, rather bizarrely.
Vaguely understandable as a short term fix for an unexpected absence, but unless they also bring in a big name, then I think they're taking the piss, frankly.
 
Arsenal are looking to fill the injured Olivier Giroud's boots with 33-year-old Nikola Zigic, formerly of Birmingham but who's currently without a club.
Sounds like crap, but his agent appears to have confirmed it, rather bizarrely.
Vaguely understandable as a short term fix for an unexpected absence, but unless they also bring in a big name, then I think they're taking the piss, frankly.

His agent said we were trying to sign him a few years ago. This is probably agent BS just as it was then.
 
These players should be better suited to 4-4-2, 4-4-1-1 or 4-2-3-1

de Gea; Rafael-Jones-Rojo-Shaw; Carrick-Herrera; Rooney, Mata, di Maria; RVP looks balanced,

I like Warnock. He's always good for a laugh. Has now managed:

Gainsborough
Burton
Scarborough
Notts County
Torquay
Huddersfield
Plymouth
Oldham
Bury
Sheffield Utd
Crystal Palace
QPR
Leeds Utd
Crystal Palace (again)

He also played for 8 clubs in a 12 year playing career.

Has Parish dared to give him longer than a 12 month contract?

2yrs, I understand!...
 
Everyone's criticising United but Arsenal are just a couple of injury time goals from being in the exact same position. Should have conceded at least 1 penalty in that first half too, very fortunate to go in ahead after being poor again.

I'd much rather be going up against Arsenal this weekend than Liverpool, they look like a team for the taking.