You run away home now and tell daddy something made you laugh. I'm sure he's waiting to see if you got a smiley face sticker on your spelling and maths the day.
My old man used to work with the crystal maze custodian back in the 60s. They were colleagues at Wainwright's butchers on Stanmore High Street. Apparently there was an incident involving a pork chop, a bag of sawdust and some of that fake grass they had in the display cabinets. I shall say no more.