Off Topic Recipes for disaster

The Ginger Marks

The Ginger Marks

Ma Mo
Jan 24, 2011
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Dont think this has been done before so here we go! You lot are a ugly bunch of bastards but everybody has to eat regardless. So if you're making a special dish or just a plain bacon sandwich ;) you can post it here and share your culinary skills with Your fellow wums.

I'm making a variation of the Mexican classic 'chilli con carne' later called 'chicken con carne soup'

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1 large onion (chopped)
1 tbsp olive oil
2 garlic cloves (crushed )
2 tsp’s cumin seeds (roasted)
2 tsp’s ground coriander.
½ tsp ground cinnamon
½ tsp cayenne pepper
2 green chillies (finely chopped) (optional but recommended)
6 boneless, skinless chicken thighs
400g tin chopped tomatoes
600ml fresh chicken stock
400g tin kidney beans in chilli sauce
Method:

Using a deep saucepan sauté the onion in the olive oil for around 10 minutes.
Add the crushed garlic, roasted cumin seeds, ground coriander, cinnamon, cayenne pepper and the finely chopped chillies and cook for a further 5 minutes or until the chicken is chopped up into small pieces.
Add the chopped chicken thighs and stir to coat in the spices.
Pour in the chopped tomatoes then add the chicken stock.
Season well and bring to a simmer for 20 minutes.
Add the kidney beans in chilli sauce and simmer for a further 10 minutes.
 
This is HIAG' superbly popular recipe for Humble Pie. It's very simple to make.

Ingredients:

1 x really average football team with over-blown expectations (say, Chelsea)
1 x idiot boastful Chelsea fan (say, you, Skiddy)
1 x dreadfully poor wum attempt too many

Method:

Firstly, let your idiot fan mouth-off. Stir him up real good.

Secondly, wait for match-day to end, and then allow to simmer.

Thirdly, stick knife in to confirm that the idiot has been properly cooked, and then sit back and enjoy the best Humble Pie on the planet!
 
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Hoddle Is A God said:
This is HIAG' superbly popular recipe for Humble Pie. It's very simple to make.

Ingredients:

1 x really average football team with over-blown expectations (say, Chelsea)
1 x idiot boastful Chelsea fan (say, you, Skiddy)
1 x dreadfully poor wum attempt too many

Method:

Firstly, let your idiot fan mouth-off. Stir him up real good.

Secondly, wait for match-day to end, and then allow to simmer.

Thirdly, stick knife in to confirm that the idiot has been properly cooked, and then sit back and enjoy the best Humble Pie on the planet!
Click to expand...

#1 Yes you certainly did let your idiot mouth off <laugh>
If you try to wum the master with insults to yourself you'll never learn anything grasshopper.
 
Last edited:
Ginger Marks said:
Dont think this has been done before so here we go! You lot are a ugly bunch of bastards but everybody has to eat regardless. So if you're making a special dish or just a plain bacon sandwich ;) you can post it here and share your culinary skills with Your fellow wums.

I'm making a variation of the Mexican classic 'chilli con carne' later called 'chicken con carne soup'

You must log in or register to see images




1 large onion (chopped)
1 tbsp olive oil
2 garlic cloves (crushed )
2 tsp’s cumin seeds (roasted)
2 tsp’s ground coriander.
½ tsp ground cinnamon
½ tsp cayenne pepper
2 green chillies (finely chopped) (optional but recommended)
6 boneless, skinless chicken thighs
400g tin chopped tomatoes
600ml fresh chicken stock
400g tin kidney beans in chilli sauce
Method:

Using a deep saucepan sauté the onion in the olive oil for around 10 minutes.
Add the crushed garlic, roasted cumin seeds, ground coriander, cinnamon, cayenne pepper and the finely chopped chillies and cook for a further 5 minutes or until the chicken is chopped up into small pieces.
Add the chopped chicken thighs and stir to coat in the spices.
Pour in the chopped tomatoes then add the chicken stock.
Season well and bring to a simmer for 20 minutes.
Add the kidney beans in chilli sauce and simmer for a further 10 minutes.
Click to expand...


I want to know why the **** a MAN is cooking in Thailand <doh>

Jesus mate, you move to Thailand for women to do this type of ****.
 
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Skylarker said:
I want to know why the **** a MAN is cooking in Thailand <doh>

Jesus mate, you move to Thailand for women to do this type of ****.
Click to expand...

Answer is I'm a chef and many people here like ferang food especially ferangs. As everybody knows men generally make the best chefs. The women have other uses.:emoticon-0110-tongu
 
My brother in law's ex was from Thailand. She used to make this ****ing potent lime, chilli and garlic dip that she'd have with raw prawns. It wasn't unusual for her to eat it for breakfast, washed down with a beer. She came from a poor family who lived in a small village and they didn't conform to conventional meal times. They ate and drank when there was food and drink available regardless of what time it was.
 
Stanley said:
My brother in law's ex was from Thailand. She used to make this ****ing potent lime, chilli and garlic dip that she'd have with raw prawns. It wasn't unusual for her to eat it for breakfast, washed down with a beer. She came from a poor family who lived in a small village and they didn't conform to conventional meal times. They ate and drank when there was food and drink available regardless of what time it was.
Click to expand...
They generally don't Stan, they will eat whenever they are hungry several times a day. My wife eats son tam (papaya salad) which will take the roof of your mouth off and your stomach to the cleaners. <yikes> I can eat it but I'd rather have it dumbed down a bit.
 
Spud juggernaut Leicester pudding

Take Eleven spuds.
Kick them around at Chelsea
Then take to Newcastle and rinse well.
Simmer for 90 minutes until fallen apart.
When they have suitably softened mash gently.
Add some Red Leicester cheese add sprinkle on top.
Place them under Arsenal.
Serve hot with laughter.
 
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