Rangers v Celtic

Pattern Of Assistance · Apr 11, 2019

Mind The Duck said: ↑

Imagine signing off:

"we're still the same club ya fenian bastards"

[emoji28]
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Who?

Mind The Duck · Apr 11, 2019

YerMaw said: ↑

Who?
Click to expand...

Whoooosh

Pattern Of Assistance · Apr 11, 2019

Mind The Duck said: ↑

Whoooosh
Click to expand...

Inneth ye poppeth

Black Caviar · Sep 14, 2021

.

Mind The Duck · Apr 11, 2019

YerMaw said: ↑

Inneth ye poppeth
Click to expand...

Nice save

Pattern Of Assistance · Apr 11, 2019

^^^Never read^^^

If in doubt · Apr 11, 2019

I read it. ****ing hilarious written down.

Mick O'Toon · Apr 11, 2019

YerMaw said: ↑

Why?

The current board are who the Yanks are going after.

Massive sums being banded about
Click to expand...

*bandied

Pattern Of Assistance · Apr 11, 2019

Mick O'Toon said: ↑

*bandied
Click to expand...

Inneth ye pop

Toley Fart · Apr 11, 2019

Eddie losing the plot after the compo figures have been released!

$10 million per farter

Mind The Duck · Apr 11, 2019

Odious Turd said: ↑

Eddie losing the plot after the compo figures have been released!

$10 million per farter
Click to expand...

Whit???

Brendan Rodgers felt my bum @cfc

Black Caviar · Sep 14, 2021

.

DevAdvocate · Apr 11, 2019

YerMaw said: ↑

Why?

The current board are who the Yanks are going after.

Massive sums being banded about
Click to expand...

So no word?

DevAdvocate · Apr 11, 2019

Eddie bin Nesta al-Glesga said: ↑

read in full

The Banter Years
2011/12
13th February 2012: Rangers announce their intention to go into Administration.
14th February 2012: Rangers go into Administration. Rangers are docked 10 points, ending any title bid. Fans gather outside the gates of Ibrox demanding answers, and one declares to the news cameras that 'the big house must stay open!' regardless of what happens next.
16th February 2012: Ally McCoist conducts an interview with Sky Sports News from his car, stating "we don't do walking away."
18th February 2012: The fans pack Ibrox to the rafters, looking to send a defiant message to the rest of Scottish football. Only Kilmarnock stand in their way. Rangers lose 1-0.
3rd March 2012: Rumours surface that Rangers will not be granted a licence to compete in Europe next season, owing to accounts from 2011 not being submitted to UEFA. Little do they realise that, where they're heading, they won't be needing to worry about qualifying for European football any time soon.
5th April 2012: Rangers' debts are estimated to be some £134m, including just shy of £100m owed to HMRC.
7th April 2012: There is a full stadium display at Ibrox, whereby fans are encouraged to 'show a red card to liquidation'. Who can forget this HILARIOUS Union Bears display?
13th May 2012: A consortium - led by Charles Green - agrees to buy the club from Craig Whyte, confident of securing a CVA with HMRC in order to 'preserve the club's history'.

2012/13
12th June 2012: Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs (yes, the same Her Majesty who Rangers fans sing their praises of) announce that they will reject the Company Voluntary Agreement that would've spared Rangers from being liquidated.
4th July 2012: Newco Rangers are refused entry into the SPL. The hope is that they will be admitted into the SFL's top tier, Division 1, allowing a swift return to the top flight.
13th July 2012: Rangers instead are ordered to start life in the 3rd Division, at that time the lowest tier of the Scottish football pyramid.

29th July 2012: Rangers need extra time to beat Brechin in the first round of the Ramsdens Cup. The ball also gets stuck on top of the famous Glebe Park hedge.
7th August 2012: Kevin Kyle signs, he later recalls: 'I sat down with the manager and he asked what I was looking for and I just said a crazy figure and I almost got what I wanted'.
18th September 2012: Queen of the South knock Rangers out of the Ramsdens Cup on penalties at Ibrox.
6th October 2012: Rangers lose 1-0 at bottom of the table Stirling Albion, who are without a manager for the day as Greig McDonald is busy getting married. After seven games, Rangers' Third Division record reads played 7, won 3, drawn 3 and lost 1.
23rd November 2012: Elgin City vs Rangers is postponed, after Elgin sell too many tickets and have to call off the game on safety grounds.
2nd December 2012: That Elgin fan dancing in the away end at Ibrox.

29th December 2012: Some 30,000 Rangers fans travel to Hampden to play Queens Park. They require a 91st minute winner against the ten men. There are jubilant celebrations. Meanwhile, future multi-million pound player Andy Robertson plays a full 90 minutes at left back for Queens Park and escapes the notice of the Rangers scouts.
16th January 2013: Ally McCoist beams proudly, standing with the single greatest bar chart ever produced.
2nd February 2013: Rangers draw Dundee United away in the Scottish Cup fifth round, and declare a boycott of Tannadice. 365 Rangers fans turn up anyway and United win 3-0.
3rd April 2013: Francisco Sandaza is sacked after falling for a prank call from a Celtic fan masquerading as an agent, in which he expressed his desire to move away from Rangers.

2013/14
24th July 2013: Rangers lose 1-0 in a friendly at Hillsborough. They unveil the worst banner ever seen, congratulating Prince William and Kate Middleton on having a baby.
3rd August 2013: Nicky Law's claims that Rangers can win the quadruple are extinguished by Forfar in the first round of the League Cup.
12th September 2013: Ian Black is suspended for 10 games by the SFA after admitting to placing bets on football matches.
22nd September 2013: Rangers exact revenge on Forfar in the league with a 1-0 win. Ally McCoist blames the wind for Rangers not scoring more.
14th December 2013: Stenhousemuir vs Rangers is postponed, it is mistakenly thought at first to have been high winds that caused a burger van blows into a temporary stand at Ochilview.
4th January 2014: Ally McCoist goes to the media and complains about a fixture pile up of 4 games in 11 days, despite his side being 14 points clear at the top and having a wage bill at least 10 times the size of anyone else's in League One.
22nd February 2014: A rare slip up for Rangers in the league as they draw 3-3 at home to Stenhousemuir. Sean Higgins' late equaliser - and his subsequent celebration - sends Rangers TV commentator Tom Miller into meltdown.
6th April 2014: The first of the big game Banter Year losses IMHO. Raith Rovers beat Rangers 1-0 after extra time in the Ramsdens Cup final.
7th April 2014: Furious backlash as Rangers' staff party goes ahead as scheduled. Ally McCoist is caught doing karaoke just hours after loss to Raith.
12th April 2014: Despite being handed home advantage in a Scottish Cup semi final, Rangers are dismantled 3-1 by Dundee United at Ibrox.

2014/15
27th June 2014: Kris Boyd returns to Rangers, he winds up scoring just 3 goals in 29 Championship games. He goes on to be brilliant once again at Kilmarnock.
10th August 2014: Rangers find themselves in the Championship with both Hearts and Hibs. On the opening day, trailing 1-0 to Hearts in injury time, they pull a last minute equaliser out of the bag to rescue a point. Except Osman Sow runs up the other end from kick off and gives Hearts the three points and the springboard to cruise to the title.
3rd September 2014: It is revealed that, in 2012, Mike Ashley bought the naming rights to Ibrox for a quid.
1st November 2014: Rangers progress to the League Cup semi final, and are drawn against Celtic for the first game between the two clubs since 2012. There is genuine excitement amongst the Rangers support.
3rd December 2014: Rangers are 2-0 up at Alloa and cruising into the Petrofac Training Cup final. 3 goals in 18 minutes send Alloa through instead.
12 December 2014: Ally McCoist offers his resignation, it's all up in the air for a few days and Rangers eventually confirm this. But he carries on as manager until...
21st December 2014: Ally McCoist is placed on gardening leave. Kenny McDowall, with all the willingness of an Iranian hostage, becomes caretaker.
22nd December 2014: The Rangers AGM to end all Rangers AGMs. Held in a gazebo, fans stuck in the away corner of Ibrox, everybody boos. Just glorious.
27th December 2014: Rangers lose 4-0 at Easter Road to Hibs. Hearts go 15 points clear at the top.

16th January 2015: Snow stops play between Rangers and Hearts at Ibrox, the fans then try to storm the main stand to protest against the board.
20th January 2015: The Charles Green-Jim Whyte hospital bed interview occurs. It's bigger than Frost-Nixon.
8th February 2015: Raith win at Ibrox for the first time since 1959, the ground's almost empty and Rangers are out of the Scottish Cup.
7th March 2015: Just a week after Hearts demolish Cowdenbeath 10-0, Rangers can only manage a 0-0 draw against the Blue Brazil. Enjoy this Hollywood blockbuster.
12th March 2015: Stuart McCall is appointed Rangers manager. He starts off with home draws to relegation fodder Livingston and Alloa.
17th March 2015: Same old Alloa, always cheating.

2nd May 2015: Despite comfortably having the biggest budget in the league, Rangers contrive to finish 3rd in the Championship.
28th May 2015: After seeing off Queen of the South and Hibs, a full house at Ibrox watches on as Motherwell destroy Rangers 3-1 in the first leg of the play-off final.
31st May 2015: This is the second big game in the Banter Years. Rangers go to Fir Park knowing anything less than a 2 goal win is insufficient. They lose 3-0, making it 6-1 on aggregate. Here are just some of the incidents that occur: Lee McCulloch nearly has his eye taken out by a flag, Cammy Bell punches a looping ball into his own net, Bilel Mohsni punches Lee Erwin and Motherwell fans invade the pitch to goad the tiny allocation that Rangers were given. Rangers stay in the Championship for a second season, and their grand sweep back to the top flight of Scottish football is derailed.

2015/16
15th June 2015: Mark Warburton becomes Rangers manager. On paper it's a pretty good appointment.
25th July 2015: Rangers win 6-2 at Easter Road in the Challenge Cup. A good result, however their fans are preoccupied welcoming Hibs player Scott Allan (who has been linked with them all summer) to their club, just as they a decade ago with Scott Brown.

13th August 2015: Boyhood Rangers fan Scott Allan ends up joining Celtic instead. Hibs also get Liam Henderson out of the deal, he'll reappear later.
22nd September 2015: Rangers' storming start to the season is finally put on hold by St Johnstone's 3-1 win in the League Cup at Ibrox.
19th December 2015: Rangers chuck away an 8 point lead at the top. Defeat at Falkirk means they're now level on points with Hibs.
10th April 2016: Rangers win the Challenge Cup at the fourth time of asking, having wrapped up the league a few days earlier. Things are looking up.
17th April 2016: Rangers beat Celtic on penalties to reach the Scottish Cup final. This is it. The Rangers are back. We've got a title race on next season, and Rangers only have to beat Hibs in the final to secure European football and crown a fantastic season.

21st May 2016: Rangers lose 3-2 to Hibs in the Scottish Cup final. I'm biased, but this arguably might be the absolute peak of the Banter Years, solely because of what happens next. David Gray heads in a last minute winner, the full time whistle blows and thousands of Hibs fans stream onto the pitch as their side wins its first Scottish Cup since 1902. A couple of fans goad/mildly irritate Rangers players, who subsequently refuse to collect their runner up medals. A handful of Rangers fans attempt to restore order by going onto the pitch themselves, and scuffles break out. Rangers then release an utter heads gone of a Statement, and claims are made that all 11 Rangers players have been attacked.
22nd May 2016: The true dawn of the Statement era starts here. Rangers, sore from the defeat the day before, double down on their original Statement. The website crashes as the whole of Scottish football attempts to get on and read it.

2016-17
24th May 2016: Rangers sign Joey Barton. Joey Barton immediately goes on the offensive promising all sorts of 'I'll take on Celtic single-handedly' stuff.
6th August 2016: Rangers fans unveil big stadium display promising that they're 'GOING FOR 55'. Mark Warburton admits a few years later that his 'heart sank' when he saw the display, as it was a hugely optimistic goal. They proceed to draw 1-1 at home to Hamilton Accies.
19th August 2016: Joey Barton gets welcomed to Scottish football by Greg Taylor, who takes a red card for the team (AKA humanity).
20th August 2016: Rangers sign Joe Garner for £1.8m, their first £1m+ signing of the Banter Years. He doesn't even last a year.
10th September 2016: Rangers go to Parkhead for the first time since 2012, they lose 5-1.

13th September 2016: In attempts at 'clear the air' talks after the defeat, Joey Barton and Andy Halliday get into a massive spat. Barton is sent home from training.
19th September 2016: Marquee summer signing Joey Barton is banned from training for 3 weeks.
25th September 2016: Rangers go to Pittodrie, they lose 2-1 from a last minute free kick. Warburton rages about the free kick being given.
10th November 2016: Joey Barton leaves Rangers, with his autobiography firmly promoted.
16th November 2016: Martyn Waghorn, carrying a fish supper, is called "shampoo" by a schoolchild. Waghorn confronts the kid, who doesn't back down. It goes viral on Twitter.
23rd December 2016: Rangers fans hijack the generic Glad All Over chant to serenade Joey Garner, they try to take it to #1 in the Christmas charts. In their infinite delusion, they believe that they're close to doing so, when in fact they've only managed to get the song to 31st.

1st February 2017: Ian Cathro's Hearts beat Rangers 4-1. That is not a typo. Ian Cathro's Hearts beat Rangers 4-1.
10th February 2017: Mark Warburton resigns. Except he hasn't. Except he has. Except he hasn't. Except he has. This goes on all night, and eventually it's revealed that Warburton tried to jump ship to Forest and the Rangers board called his bluff. All in all, a PR farce. More statements released.
19th February 2017: Murtymania is running wild. Graeme Murty is the new caretaker manager. Rangers lose to Dundee. He does a headstand. Hilarity ensues.
24th February 2017: Rangers lose at bottom of the table, can't-buy-a-win Caley Thistle. Perhaps this Murty isn't all he's cracked up to be.
11th March 2017: Pedro Caixinha becomes Rangers manager. His first task is to watch Rangers take another pumping at Celtic Park, but wait...
12th March 2017: Rangers snatch a late point at Parkhead. Murty is now the messiah in the eyes of Rangers fans for drawing with Celtic, which shows just how hurt they must be.
7th May 2017: Rangers qualify for Europe with a win at Firhill. Some invade the pitch to celebrate. 'The Banter Years are over!', they proclaim.
17th May 2017: Aberdeen win at Ibrox for the first time since 1991, another proud record of Rangers' falls. Somebody runs off with the ball, too.
21st May 2017: Rangers' 'Going for 55' season ends with them limping to 3rd, as close to St Johnstone in 4th as they are to Aberdeen in 2nd. Caixinha is kept on.

2017/18
19th June 2017: Rangers - starting their European journey with hopes of reaching the group stages - are drawn against Progrès Niederkorn, minnows of the Luxembourg league.
29th June 2017: In mildly embarrassing circumstances, Rangers are only able to take a 1-0 lead with them to Luxembourg for the second leg. The fans also throw paper at the Progrès keeper and will eventually be fined by UEFA for this.

4th July 2017: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Rangers lose 2-0 to Progrès Niederkorn on the night and go out of the Europa League 2-1 on aggregate at the very first hurdle. This is the JFK moment of the Banter Years, everyone will remember where they were.
12th August 2017: Rangers welcome Hibs to Ibrox for the first match between the two sides since the 2016 Scottish Cup final. The fans smell blood and with Neil Lennon in charge of Hibs this has the feel of an Old Firm game. Remarkably it's kept off TV, but Hibs win 3-2 (again) and Neil Lennon gestures to the fans.
13th August 2017: Club 1872 suffer a severe cranial detachment about said gestures and release a Statement applauding their fans for not being provoked.
22nd October 2017: Rangers lose in the League Cup semi final against Motherwell, which is not really what any of their fans had expected, despite Louis Moult being a far better footballer than anything they have to offer. Alves elbows Moult while Rangers' Fábio Cardoso suffers a broken nose from a Bowman elbow and, you guessed it...
24th October 2017: Rangers suffer a severe cranial detachment as Bruno Alves is given a two game ban and Bowman gets off with nothing.

26th October 2017: After snatching a draw from the jaws of victory at home to Kilmarnock, Pedro Caixinha is sacked. A loyal servant to the Banter Years.
18th November 2017: Graeme Murty, somehow still in charge as caretaker of Rangers at this point, oversees Rangers' first league defeat to Hamilton since 1926.
24th November 2017: Not to be outdone from his last stint as Rangers caretaker, Murty again travels to the bottom club on a Friday night and loses. This time to Dundee.
3rd December 2017: Graeme Murty masterfully guides Rangers to two consecutive victories in the space of a week over Derek McInnes' Aberdeen to haul Rangers into second.
4th December 2017: But what's this? After 5 weeks of deliberation, Rangers have decided that they want Derek McInnes. The media tapping up goes into overdrive, it appears that Rangers have got their man until...
7th December 2017: Derek McInnes decides to stay at Aberdeen, Rangers release a pathetic 'didn't want him anyway' Statement and use the word concomitant.
8th December 2017: In Aberdeen's next match, their fans unveil a banner reading 'Concomitant you Reds'.

11th March 2018: Celtic go to Ibrox with Rangers knowing that a win for them will take them just 3 points behind, the title race is on when Josh Windass fires Rangers into a lead. With the game delicately poised at 2-2, Celtic are reduced to ten men. Surely this is the moment for Rangers to pounce? No, Édouard scores and 10 man Celtic win 3-2.
15th April 2018: But Rangers have one more chance to stop Celtic's double treble in their tracks. They lose 4-0 in an utterly gutless performance. Boyhood Rangers fan Andy Halliday is substituted before half time and is raging about it, and Candeias storms down the tunnel when he's taken off. Celtic are now undefeated in ten derbies.

17th April 2018: Captain Lee Wallace and veteran striker Kenny Miller are suspended after an altercation with Graeme Murty. The club is in turmoil.
24th April 2018: Hibs cut Rangers' away allocation at Easter Road for the final game of the season. Rangers release a late night Statement full of tears and snotters, swearing revenge on Hibs for having the audacity to turn away the blue pound. It's not the first Statement about Hibs that Jim Traynor has scrawled in crayon.

29th April 2018: As long as Rangers can avoid defeat at Parkhead, Celtic will not be able to win the title against their bitterest of rivals. This plan falls apart as Rangers go 5-0 down within 53 minutes. Quite honestly, Celtic taking their foot off the gas is all that stops it being much, much worse.
1st May 2018: Graeme Murty is removed from his position as Rangers manager. Just who does Dave King turn to now?
4th May 2018: Steven Gerrard is appointed manager of Rangers, with much pomp and fanfare from the Ibrox club.
13th May 2018: Rangers, who famously refuse to settle for second best, are forced to settle for third for the second consecutive season. They end on a high note, a 5-5 draw against Hibs. Neil Lennon, a permanent thorn in Rangers' side, celebrates Hibs' last minute equaliser by running onto the pitch and making aeroplane gestures.

2018/19
5th August 2018: A last minute equaliser from Bruce Anderson denies Steven Gerrard his first three points as Rangers manager. He's not worried, though, and proclaims Rangers to be 'a class above' Aberdeen (this quote might reemerge later). Morelos earns his first of three red cards against Aberdeen this season.
12th August 2018: A full stadium display is planned for Rangers' first domestic home game under Gerrard, the message is simple: 'Our Club, Our City'. Unfortunately, it gets leaked again, and the visiting St Mirren fans take full advantage.
23rd August 2018: Rangers have made a flying start to the Gerrard era. In a pre-match press conference days before their game at Fir Park, Motherwell captain Peter Hartley remarks that seeing Fábio Cardoso break his nose in last season's League Cup semi final 'was fun to watch, the way he was weeping.' He is forced to apologise.
26th August 2018: Peter Hartley scores an injury time equaliser for Motherwell to snatch a point against Rangers.

28th October 2018: After all sorts of ticketing rows and statements, Rangers meet Aberdeen in the League Cup semi final. With Celtic having beaten Hearts earlier in the day, Rangers know that they are 90 minutes away from a first Old Firm final since 2011. Rangers lose 1-0, Lewis Ferguson, son of Rangers player Derek, gets the late winner for Aberdeen.
8th November 2018: It's another heads gone Statement from Rangers, and they don't even have the guts to tweet it through fear of ridicule. Daniel Candeias is (admittedly ridiculously) sent off by Willie Collum the previous Saturday, and upon finding out that their appeal is unsuccessful, the toys go out of the pram once again.
29th December 2018: Rangers win at home to Celtic. Joyous scenes at Ibrox. They've finally seen off their bitter foe and the title race is on!

5th January 2019: With a three-way duel between Celtic, Rangers and Kilmarnock on the cards, Rangers take preventative steps and sign Jordan Jones from Kilmarnock. They won't be needing his services until the summer, however, so they opt to sign him on a pre-contract. There's always a risk with these deals that the player gets injured, or worse...

23rd January 2019: Jordan Jones scores the winner for Kilmarnock against his future club and deals their title hopes a massive blow in the process. Some Rangers fans demand that his contract is torn up immediately.

3rd March 2019: Rangers earn a hard-fought draw at Pittodrie in the Scottish Cup quarter finals. They'll meet again a week on Tuesday at Ibrox, with Aberdeen in Glasgow to play Celtic just 72 hours earlier. It seems unlikely that Derek McInnes could pull off a third win in Glasgow over Rangers in a single season, something that no Aberdeen manager has ever done before.

12th March 2019: Rangers lose 2-0 at home to Aberdeen and crash out of the Scottish Cup. Aberdeen, a club previously synonymous with bottling games against the Old Firm in Glasgow, have now knocked Rangers out of both cup competitions. After 29 games, Rangers have only one point more in the league than they did last season. The natives are growing restless.

16th March 2019: The Vanguard Bears, a lovely bunch of people, organise a protest outside BBC Scotland's headquarters. They fail to account for the horrendous weather forecasted, and about 30 people stand behind a banner in the howling wind and rain. Meanwhile on the pitch, Kilmarnock have possession but luckily 'they're not going anywhere really'...Steven Gerrard's post match interview with Rangers TV is Cathro-esque levels of bad.
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Black Caviar · Sep 14, 2021

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Black Caviar · Sep 14, 2021

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Toley Fart · Apr 11, 2019

Seething at no history

Pattern Of Assistance · Apr 11, 2019

DevAdvocate said: ↑

So no word?
Click to expand...

Google is your friend. Plenty on there about it.

Black Caviar · Sep 14, 2021

.

gas · Apr 11, 2019

Eddie bin Nesta al-Glesga said: ↑

google is for noobs

duckduckgo for shrewdies
Click to expand...

^ ^ ^

Got BING written all over it

bing

Rangers v Celtic

Pattern Of Assistance Well-Known Member

Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

Pattern Of Assistance Well-Known Member

Black Caviar 1 of the top judges in Europe

Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

Pattern Of Assistance Well-Known Member

If in doubt Well-Known Member

Mick O'Toon Well-Known Member

Pattern Of Assistance Well-Known Member

Toley Fart not606's best fighter

Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

Black Caviar 1 of the top judges in Europe

DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

Black Caviar 1 of the top judges in Europe

Black Caviar 1 of the top judges in Europe

Toley Fart not606's best fighter

Pattern Of Assistance Well-Known Member

Black Caviar 1 of the top judges in Europe

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Rangers v Celtic

Pattern Of Assistance Well-Known Member

Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

Pattern Of Assistance Well-Known Member

Black Caviar 1 of the top judges in Europe

Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

Pattern Of Assistance Well-Known Member

If in doubt Well-Known Member

Mick O'Toon Well-Known Member

Pattern Of Assistance Well-Known Member

Toley Fart not606's best fighter

Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

Black Caviar 1 of the top judges in Europe

DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

Black Caviar 1 of the top judges in Europe

Black Caviar 1 of the top judges in Europe

Toley Fart not606's best fighter

Pattern Of Assistance Well-Known Member

Black Caviar 1 of the top judges in Europe

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