"A Newcastle fan, an Sunderland fan and a Middlesbrough fan were all in Saudi Arabia drinking a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. For their punishment the Saudi Arabia Sheik decided that the punishment should be 20 lashes with a whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said: "It is my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The Middlesbrough was first in line (he had consumed the least), so he thought about it for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through it. The Middlesbrough fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying when the punishment was done. The Newcastle fan was next up (he almost finished a half-keg), and after watching the scene, said: "Choice! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again. The Sunderland was the last one up (he had finished off the keg), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of England, your city has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful highness", the Sunderland fan replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asked. "Tie that Newcastle fan to my back..." -TID
I don't know if it's because I went to a CofE school in my early years, I can remember always having to say grace before meals, 'For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful' - I'm hungry just fooking get on with it. We also had assembly every morning, but I think that was all schools, where you had to sing a few hymns and there would be customary prayers. The odd part is I never actually remember when that all died out, but anyone saying amen to me after that, would be ignored.
Yeah we used to have them hymns too…I could respect that though the ink is black the page is white together we learn to read n write to read n write He’s got the whole world In his hands He’s got the whole wide world In his hands He’s got the whoooole world In his hands He’s got the whole world in his hands beautiful nowadays they sing songs by Rihanna in some places letting them **** our kids up
I can remember also going to some evening youth club style place as a kid, even that was linked into religion, all I can remember it was something to do with Cliff Richard promoting it through religious promotion materials - I think that was the first time I started to feel uncomfortable with it, because I went along under the context of young people interacting, they had games and stuff (can't remember what), but then I became aware of the religious material under the guise of Cliff Richard, and I don't know, it just didn't feel right, can't say why. Edit: thinking about it, I swear my guitar tutor as a kid, use to play those sort of songs.
oh crikey, I wouldn't have guessed that, because you are quite a lot younger than me, or certainly look it. I thought it was just us oldies that had to endure that.
Our God is a great big God, Our God is a great big God, Our God is a great big God And He holds us in His hands. He’s higher than a skyscraper And deeper than a submarine. He’s wider than the universe And beyond my wildest dreams. He’s known me and He’s loved me Before the world began. How wonderful to be a part Of God’s amazing plan. 5 year olds current tune at school. Much better than baby shark tbf. Also a CofE school.
My last 3 schools have been C of E. We don't call them assemblies now, they're called Morning Worship. Not that there's much worship tbf. Prayers are held in class - one before lunch and one before home time. All the schools have usually been linked to a local church. The pastor comes in now and again to do one. Funny thing is we rather he didn't The church is incredible though , about 200 years old, beautiful architecture. Lots of religious celebrations e.g. Christingle, Easter etc done there as whole school.
Shows how out of touch I am now, I for some reason assumed all the religious stuff stopped decades ago. Near where I lived as a child there was a really old beautiful church, but the only reason I remembered it was because it had big fook off conker trees, and I use to think, how the fook can I get up there, but resorted instead to the old tried and tested method of lobbing sticks up there. My original CofE school no longer exists, the fookers bulldozed it.
Oh yeh they still have an element of the religious about them. One of the schools I was at had a worship area or contemplation area in every classroom. Usually had a cross, a candle, a bible and some prayers. Could just be as small as a windowsill or table in the corner. BUT C of E are now considered the hippies of the faith schools bcos they are quite progressive and relaxed. You compare them to Catholic schools and huge difference. Very strict, regimented and heavily influenced by religious dogma. I doubt I'd work in one. Tbh I don't think I can. Back in the day when I qualified you needed an additional qualification. Can't remember the name of it. Not sure if that's still the case, I think it is.
Well I've certainly learned something from the conversation. I remember at one of my latter schools, where we had religious education (don't know what it's called these days), I remember a girl in the class was a Catholic, so she use to be excused from the lessons on her parents instruction. I use to think it was just an excuse to skive off.
