I think you are all being a tad harsh on Randy Andy. He says he never schtupped the bird and the proof is he doesn't sweat, are we not convinced?
If he did partake in the USA he's in trouble as she was meant to be 17 which is below the age of consent but if it was out anywhere else then the local laws would have to apply. Not sure about doing her on Epstein's boat if it was in international waters. I don't know the legal ramifications of pumping a 17 year old outside her country of origin's legislative boundaries.
Technically, if he did play hide the Royal Sausage, it was sex with a minor and not *****philia.