Scene: Will McKenzie, Simon, Jay, and Neil are driving in Will's beat-up car, a "lump of yellow ****" (as Jay calls it), late at night. They pass a bus stop where JD Vance, the U.S. Vice President-elect (as of January 2025), is standing, looking frustrated, waiting for a ride. Instead of a bus, there's a mention of a luxurious, over-the-top couch delivery service that’s running late.
Will (driving, nervously): "Come on, guys, let’s just get home. I don’t want any trouble."
Jay (leaning out the window, spotting JD Vance at the couch stop): "Oi, couch ****ers!"
(JD Vance, dressed in a sharp suit but visibly annoyed, looks up, confused but unimpressed. He’s holding a copy of Hillbilly Elegy and checking his phone for the couch delivery status.)
JD Vance (shouting back, sarcastic): "What’d you say, kid? I’d rather be a couch ****er than drive that lump of yellow ****!"
(Will, panicking, tries to roll up the window as JD Vance steps closer, still throttling the air in mock frustration. Simon and Neil laugh nervously in the back seat.)
Simon (whispering to Will): "Oh God, that’s JD Vance! He’s going to be VP of the U.S. in a few months!"
Jay (grinning, egging it on): "Yeah, but he’s still waiting for his fancy sectional sofa like a loser! Couch ****er!"
(JD Vance, now fully committed, tosses his book aside and mock-throttles the air toward the car, yelling
JD Vance: "You think I’m out here for fun? This couch delivery’s late because I’m trying to furnish my VP office in D.C. with some Appalachian charm—better than your clapped-out car, you couchless peasants!"
(Will floors the accelerator, and the car sputters away as Neil falls off the seat laughing, Jay shouts “Couch ****ers!” one last time, and Simon hides his face in embarrassment. JD Vance shakes his head, picks up his book, and mutters about “damn British kids” as he waits for his couch.)
