Off Topic Pointless point-scoring thread

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I've just spent 5 minutes trying to work out what the **** these ****s are babbling about

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I went into a book shop yesterday, and asked the fellow behind the counter if he had a copy of Ally McCoists new book on the current issues surrounding his club.
”I think I’ve sold out ” he said

” Thats the one, ” I replied.
 
I know not many punters on here go to the game , Dundee away today is always a 6/7 pints game , then you have to meet the family and pretend you've only had 2/3 on arriving home, any other posters got good stories about how much alcohol they 've drunk and told lies ???
 
I know not many punters on here go to the game , Dundee away today is always a 6/7 pints game , then you have to meet the family and pretend you've only had 2/3 on arriving home, any other posters got good stories about how much alcohol they 've drunk and told lies ???

Why do you need to pretend, Harry?