Off Topic Pointless Insecty Bastards

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Happy Tiger said:
Reminded about sommat from another thread.

Technically not insects, but I present...Sea Gulls.

Evil, food stealing, smelling like fish **** aggressive bastards.

Last year in Cornwall, I'd just gotten to the last bit of me ice cream cone, when one of the ****ers literally attacked me, causing me to drop my cone. Luckily I managed to stamp on it before the ****y gull could get it.

If I aint eating it, nor are you my gully friend.

Sea ****s.

PS My missus just stood there laughing, shielding her own ice cream.
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Having just spent 10hrs driving back from a week in Cornwall I can confirm that said seagulls are in fact utter bastards and now use diversion tactics to steal your food. Give it a few years and they will rule the world with their evil cunning and utter bravery. We are under attack and we are sleep walking into oblivion. ****ers all of them
 
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Happy Tiger said:
Despite my comments in other threads, they're pointless. They only exist to cause us pain.
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This is major new thinking. Move over Richard Dawkins, Charles Darwin, etc. Here comes the Theory of Happy Tiger.
 
Wasps
Earwigs
Ants (I know they're cool the way they work together etc...but to achieve what?! Little biting ****ers)
Flying ants...the Piers Morgan of the lot. You avoid sitting directly on the floor so ants can't bite you and then the ****ers evolve wings so they can get you anywhere. And when they bite I get a massive swelling, so when one bit my hand it ended up looking like an inflated rubber glove (leave it...I've thought of the obvious option...it's not worth it)
 
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Scorpions and spiders are not insects, they are arachnids, as are ticks the evil bastards.


Just pointing this out as Castro seems to have done one.
 
Did you know there are more than 400,000 species of beetle? That is, according to Wikipedia, 40% of all known insect species, and 25% of all animals.
 
Watching an American cartoon years ago, and one of the characters wanted to join the gang. To get in, they had to give up something that was important to them, so they agreed to 'no more buggery'. <yikes>

Seemingly it's an ant farm or something similar.
 
Got stung twice in 5 seconds by a wasp earlier this year. Whilst I was asleep! The bastard got quickly sprayed with Raid and then vacuumed up while it was still writhing in agony. But I've also been bitten by ants and that is far more painful than any wasp sting.

With Filey on slugs too - just pure scum. I had loads of nice strawberries ripening in my garden last year but the slugs got to most of them, the ugly slimy little gits that they are.

I hate flies too. Especially bluebottles. And the Gooseberry Sawfly whose caterpillars ate half my gooseberry bushes last year!

There, I feel better for that rant - thanks HT for starting this thread.
 
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Flies.

This time of year they can find their way in through the smallest slit of an open window.

Yet I could remove an entire wall and they wouldn't find their way out.

Just butt their heads around the opening.
 
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HHH said:
Flies.

This time of year they can find their way in through the smallest slit of an open window.

Yet I could remove an entire wall and they wouldn't find their way out.

Just butt their heads around the opening.
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My dog's discovered that he loves the juicy little buggers.

There's something deeply satisfying about buzz, buzz, buzz, chomp, silence.
 
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