Photoshop/Jokes/GIF Thread

Don't get Harry Hill Blue, he's as funny as cancer.

 

Robby --like all things beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There are "comedian's" that couldn't ever make me laugh! There are others Tommy Cooper,Ken Dodd,Steve Coogan, Rowan Atkinson and Harry Hill who just have to stand there and I crack up!

 

Is that an anti-semitic "joke"?

 

No mate its a joke like any good irish joke you might know.

Get a life for Christ's sake.

 

HARRYHILLISMS 2:My dad used to say"always fight fire with fire!" I think thats why he lost his job with the Fire Brigade.

 

Ossieism No1: I used to be a gynaecologist but got the sack for taking work home.

 

HARRYHILLISMS 3:"My nan, bless her, gets things mixed up.. She gets the telephone mixed up with the hair dryer. You might have seen her around----wet hair , chapped lips".

 

Chat up line No.57:-

Him: You remind me of my little toe, darlin'.

Her: (giggling) Is that because I'm small and cute?

Him: Nah. It's 'cause I'll be banging you on the coffee table, later.




(Back of the net!)

 

A little girl is with her mother at the check-out of a supermarket. A vicar joins the queue and is watching the girl play with her Barbie and Ken dolls, when it becomes apparent that she is using them to simulate the act of sexual congress. The vicar notes, with some alarm, that the girl has the dolls in the "doggie" position.

In an attempt to distract the girl, lest she embarrass her mother and the check-out lady, the vicar coughs and says to the girl, "I think you should stop doing that, unless you want Barbie to become a mummy!"

The girl scowls and replies, "I don't think so, dickhead! He's doing her up the arse!"

 

Trust the Spuds to lower the tone.

 

HARRYHILLISMS 4:I put my spectacles on for the first time and the insults started-you know, "Four eyes, Goggle Box, Joe 90"-to which I replied-"Look , you're not the only opticians round here!"

 

Most of us have moved on from Irish jokes as well. Good to know that some backwaters haven't.

 

Always the persecuted no wonder everyone hates you.

 

Now Now Ossie, leave the spud alone!

 

Sky Sports reveal the real reason why Arry went to QPR

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HARRYHILLISMS 5 :Its only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often they burst into flames.

 

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment,it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which went almost unnoticed.
Larry La Prise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Cokey" , died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.They put his left leg in , and then the problems started......

 

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HARRYHILLISM's 6:I was saying to someone the other day that ,technically the weight of an object relies on the Earths gravitational tare, to which he replied, "Look, you haven't won the cake-please move away from the stall!"