Photoshop/Jokes/GIF Thread

Discussion in 'Chelsea' started by District Line, Sep 27, 2012.

  1. King Ossie64

    King Ossie64 Well-Known Member

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  2. Abu Hamzas Piano Teacher

    Abu Hamzas Piano Teacher Well-Known Member

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    Little girl ask's her grandma, "What did you do before the internet was invented Nan". "You are the 67th grandchild to ask me that". Came the reply.
     
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  3. StanDMan

    StanDMan Well-Known Member

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  4. Abu Hamzas Piano Teacher

    Abu Hamzas Piano Teacher Well-Known Member

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    I heard this on Talksport today. In an interview with Emanuel Frimpong (former Arsenal player just been released by his Russian club).
    Emanuel what is your fave Insect
    "Antelope."
    What is your fave Cheese.
    "Dunno the name but its Yellow."
     
    #324
  5. Ginger Marks

    Ginger Marks Well-Known Member

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  6. The Prime Minister

    The Prime Minister Well-Known Member

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  7. Ginger Marks

    Ginger Marks Well-Known Member

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  8. Ginger Marks

    Ginger Marks Well-Known Member

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    IMG_1343.JPG
    Shades of Liverpool?
     
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  9. Abu Hamzas Piano Teacher

    Abu Hamzas Piano Teacher Well-Known Member

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    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
    I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

    'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

    We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier.'

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

    I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
     
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