Photoshop/Jokes/GIF Thread

Discussion in 'Chelsea' started by District Line, Sep 27, 2012.

  1. SpursDisciple

    SpursDisciple Booking: Mod abuse

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    Don't make him laugh, it might fall off <whistle>
     
    #301
  2. Abu Hamzas Piano Teacher

    Abu Hamzas Piano Teacher Well-Known Member

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    I saw two blokes walk into a Camouflage shop, never seen them come out.
     
    #302
  3. Hoddle Is A God

    Hoddle Is A God Rock God

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    Chat up line #54

    Bloke: "You remind me of my little toe.
    Girl: [giggling] "Is that because I'm small and cute?"
    Bloke: "No. It's because I'm going to be banging you on my coffee table in about two hours."

    Guaranteed to work every time, lads.
    <ok>
     
    #303
  4. King Ossie64

    King Ossie64 Well-Known Member

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    Bad enough the Germans reserving sun beds with a towel but reserving a whole ski slope with an aeroplane is going too far!
     
    #304
  5. DferPolarBear

    DferPolarBear Well-Known Member

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    100 Billion barrels of ex-oil baron found in South East England at Stamford Bridge. Researcher say this is a significant find and is larger than reserves found previously in the North. The North of the country though will continue to rely on a Middle Eastern supply.
     
    #305
  6. HRH Custard VC

    HRH Custard VC Well-Known Member

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  7. DferPolarBear

    DferPolarBear Well-Known Member

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    I was sent this by a non-footie Turkish friend living in the US. This guy asks an MMO question in manchester united forum by mistake. Somebody posts appropriate response.


    I just dinged 100 on my first character, what's some things I can do and what should I do first?

    https://np.reddit.com/r/reddevils/c...on_my_first_character_whats/csrujon?context=3

    Basically his fantasy character reached level 100. People type 'Ding' in game chat when they gain a level. You get points to level up by fighting Boss Characters. Football kit becomes armour, the league becomes a multiplayer 'raid' battle.
     
    #307
  8. Hoddle Is A God

    Hoddle Is A God Rock God

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    The teacher tells the class that they're going to learn more advanced grammar.

    Teacher: "Can someone give me an example of a multi-syllable word?"

    Little Johnny immediately raises his hand, and without waiting to be asked, in his loudest and proudest voice, he shouts: "Mas-tur-bate, miss!"

    The teacher blushes, and doesn't know how to react.

    Teacher: "Oh, my, Johnny! That's a mouthful!"

    Little Johnny: "No, you're thinking of "blow-job," miss!"
     
    #308
  9. King Ossie64

    King Ossie64 Well-Known Member

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    Girl asks handsome man his name In a club and he's says 'my name is Uni bond'. She says don't you mean James Bond? He says no, I'm here to fill your crack.
     
    #309
  10. King Ossie64

    King Ossie64 Well-Known Member

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    FB_IMG_1454045444685.jpg
    Jim fixed it for the Spuds.:1980_boogie_down:
     
    #310
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  11. Hoddle Is A God

    Hoddle Is A God Rock God

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    It's a photoshop jobbie.

    There is a copy of the exact same photo with your mate, Ozzie, wearing a 'Pool kit.
     
    #311
  12. King Ossie64

    King Ossie64 Well-Known Member

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    It's a joke hiag enjoy!
     
    #312
  13. Hoddle Is A God

    Hoddle Is A God Rock God

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    I cannot enjoy Savile, mate.

    I always knew the bloke was a nonce.

    The thought of the fcuker putting on the sacred lily-white of my beloved Spurs sickens me to the pit of my stomach.

    It must be the same for you, when you heard the story about that speccy MP fella who shagged that Italian bird in a full Chelsea kit? Of did you manage to rub one out, when you heard about that?
     
    #313
  14. King Ossie64

    King Ossie64 Well-Known Member

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    Agreed Saville was a despicable pervert who used connections and money for unspeakable acts.

    As for Mellor at least he was a Chelsea fan that prefered his birds alive.
     
    #314
  15. Hoddle Is A God

    Hoddle Is A God Rock God

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    ...and with a full bush, Ozzie.
     
    #315
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  16. DferPolarBear

    DferPolarBear Well-Known Member

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    I thought bloody hell he did well for himself considering his face and all the blubber he carried. All in all a worthy wearer of the 'sacred' royal blue.
     
    #316
  17. King Ossie64

    King Ossie64 Well-Known Member

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    Nothing wrong with a bit of bush, like most you go down there and come out with all three points!<laugh><laugh>
     
    #317
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  18. King Ossie64

    King Ossie64 Well-Known Member

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    This ones for you hiag

    FB_IMG_1454475114585.jpg
    <laugh><laugh>
     
    #318
  19. Hoddle Is A God

    Hoddle Is A God Rock God

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    "Now then! Now then! Do you like the hits of Sha-waddy-waddy?"
     
    #319
  20. King Ossie64

    King Ossie64 Well-Known Member

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    I did until they got radicalised and became Jihaddiwaddy.
     
    #320
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